


Irgendwer mich liebt

by mareavera



Category: Rammstein
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Older Man/Younger Woman, Sexual Content, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-07-25 20:21:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7546427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mareavera/pseuds/mareavera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard Kruspe has seen it all. Until that night in Moscow...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

The great hall of the five star hotel was animated by the presence of at least a hundred people. Tables with elegant white cloths were scattered all around, and busy waiters attended to all the guests who might have needed to fill up their flûtes with champagne. It was the hotel’s birthday, and the General manager had decided to invite small delegations of employees from the other hotels of the chain, from Europe. Among these guests, was a young and definitely shy woman, holding on to her glass of champagne and taking very small sips out of it. She talked to the waiters in English, exchanging views on how the company treated them there in Russia, and they all seemed to be very happy with their job. But among the chaos, among the people celebrating, she couldn’t stop from taking long and definitely curious glances at a man sitting at a table in the middle of the hall. He had very dark and short spiked hair, and was wearing a Black shirt with striped sleeves. He had a strong profile, a straight nose and a wonderful, intoxicating smile, that he was distributing everywhere around his table. He had an arm around the back of the chair next to him, and was holding a cigarette with his middle and index finger. There were other men sitting at the table, but her eyes were only for him. She knew he had seen him somewhere, but she couldn’t put her finger on it at the moment. And he looked like someone important, maybe a guest of the hotel that the General manager had invited for the occasion.  
“You’re going to consume him if you keep staring at him that way.” It was Virginia talking. Virginia was a friend and colleague from her hotel in Florence, and had been the voice of reason to her for a while.  
“But I’m not doing anything harmful.” The girl defended herself, blushing.  
“Go and introduce yourself then.”  
“What?!”  
“I know him. I can introduce him to you if you want.” Virginia’s words made her Blood freeze. Her small fingers clenched around the base of the glass, and her stomach filled up with invisibile butterflies.  
“And…and how d-do you know him?” The girl asked. Virginia shrugged her shoulders and took a finger food from a table nearby, eating it with her Blood Red lips.  
“Richard. Richard Kruspe.” Virginia said. “Guitar player for Rammstein. He’s a frequent guest of our hotels, and I met him a couple of years ago while I was working in Budapest.” The girl listened to every word. Rammstein? She used to listen to them when she was younger, she used to know all of their songs. Still, she was very bad at remembering faces, and that was why she hadn’t recognized the man she was so lustfully dreaming upon. Never could she have thought that one day she would have been in the same room with them.  
“Let’s go.” Virginia grabbed the girl by her forearm, gently, and brought her across the room towards Rammstein’s table. The girl gasped, feeling the air getting stuck in her throat, and almost stumbling because of the heels she was wearing, seeing as she wasn’t very used to wearing them.  
“Hey, I can live without meeting him!”  
“Would you shut up? They don’t eat people.” Virginia whispered to her ear as they almost arrived behind Richard’s back. “Relax. Richard!”  
Virginia called, and Richard Kruspe turned his head to see where the voice was coming from. As soon as he had recognized Virginia, his lips widened in a big smile, and he stood up with open arms.  
“Virginia!” Richard threw her arms around Virginia’s small shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. The other girl watch, feeling her heartbeat in her throat. As he had turned to hug her friend, Richard sent out a mind boggling perfume for men, that immediately got up her senses.  
“How are you my friend? Long time no see.” Virginia said, with a smile. Richard nodded, and put down his cigarette for a minute. Then, despite being a tad bit drunk, he couldn’t help but notice the girl standing by Virginia’s side. She was pretty small, wearing an elegant pastel Pink dress that caressed the curves of her hips. Virginia didn’t lose time, and took the chance. “This is my friend, Francesca. She works with me in Florence. Francesca, this is Richard.”  
“Nice t-to meet you.” Francesca smiled, nervously. Richard held out his hands, taking hers with both of his. The touch of his hands, bigger than hers and with long fingers, sent a warm sensation up her stomach and her spine. Richard’s blue eyes immediately bewitched her, framed by a thin line of eyeliner.  
“Richard Zven Kruspe. Encantado.” He replied, with a chuckle. He really was tipsy at that moment, but it amused both Virginia and Francesca. “Till? Till! Virginia’s here!” Richard called out to the man sitting in front of him. Bigger, with wide shoulders, dressed in a casual shirt. His face seemed tough at first, but as soon as he smiled at them, Francesca was reassured.  
“Ah, Mein schatzi!” Till got up and around the table, excusing himself with the people he was talking to. He opened his arms and engulfed Virginia in a friendly and warm hug, as Francesca stood there, slightly embarrassed. “How have you been? Budapest isn’t the same without you.” Till smiled and then looked at Francesca, with a wonderful and sweet light in his big green eyes.  
“Good, really good. This is my friend and colleague, Francesca. This is Till.” Virginia said, indicating the younger woman. Till took Francesca’s hand and gently bowed down to lay a kiss on its back. She blushed, seeing how old fashioned and elegant that man was, despite his aspect.  
“Welcome to Russia. Why don’t you have a seat? Richard, can I leave our guest with you? I’m going to have a drink with this lady I haven’t seen in a while.” Till said then, as he leant his arm to Virginia, that smiled behind the Red lipstick on her mouth. “I swear he doesn’t bite.” Till continued, with a laugh, talking to Francesca. Francesca smiled back, and so did Richard. The girl really felt her pulse racing as Richard got closer to her, so she could hear him better in the noise of the room. From that close distance his eyes looked even bigger and more intense.  
“Care to join me on the balcony? I need some fresh air.” Richard said, to which Francesca nodded. He grabbed the pack of cigarettes on the table right in front of him, and opened an arm to show the way to the girl. They walked towards the huge glass doors of the hall and Richard pushed one of those open, letting her go through first. Francesca at first shivered, as her skin came in contact with the night chill. Then, her body adjusted herself to the temperature, as she watched Richard. He pulled a cigarette out and put it between his not so thick lips, shielding the cigarette from the cold to light it up. The tobacco lit up, and after inhaling deeply, Richard let out a white cloud of smoke.  
“Can I..Can I ask you for a cigarette?” Francesca said. She didn’t know actually why she had asked him, but maybe she thought that it would have been good to keep him company. She smoked too, from time to time, but surely not as much as him. Richard seemed surprised, and smiled taking out the pack again so she could slip one out.  
“Nobody asks me. Ever.” He said, as he used the lighter to light up the cigarette as it was already between the girls lips. Francesca breathed in, and chuckled.  
“It’s mainly because it helps me relax. I’m..quite nervous.” Richard leant against the wall behind them and looked at her through the cloud of smoke she had let out while speaking.  
“It’s a bad habit to have. I could never quit, I probably never will. But I agree on the relax part.” He said, looking down for a moment at the city living under the hotel’s building. “And no need to be nervous. Hope you’re not nervous because of me though.” Francesca bit on her lower lip, and blushed. She brought the cigarette to her lips again, and inhaled.  
“I should be nervous instead.” Richard continued, a smirk on his face as he passed a hand through his short hair. “You’re..you’re beautiful. Can I say that? And I’m just…just and old man. It’s probably the vodka, the champagne and the wine speaking, so..” Francesca coughed, the smoke caught up in her throat as Richard laughed.  
“If you say so.” She replied, smiling. She felt her heart pumping in every vein of her body and felt her face burning, both because of the alcohol she had drunk and because of the embarrassment. It was the first time she had seen him, yet he was making her weak in the knees. She quickly brought herself back to Earth thinking about how he was at least 30 years older than her and thinking that probably he did that with every girl. Still, she couldn’t wipe away the feeling she had had as soon as his eyes had set contact with hers.  
“Oh, there you are!” The glass door next to them was opened, and Till appeared followed by Virginia. Till had a relaxed and happy expression on his face, as he carried two tequila shots in his hands and Virginia did the same, winking at Francesca. Richard pulled the cigarette’s end out of his mouth, pushing it in the ashtray near him.  
“Shots. I think I am little too drunk for them already  
..” Francesca chuckled, as Till lent her one of the small glasses.  
“I hope Richard didn’t make you even more drunk with his blabbering.” Till replied, to which Virginia and Francesca laughed. Richard smiled, and scratched the back of his neck taking the shot of tequila from Till.  
“He’s been…a really good company, don’t worry.” Francesca said, biting her lip and looking at Richard. She immediately looked away as he looked back at her, though.  
“What do we toast to?” Richard said, smiling.  
“To this encounter.” Virginia proposed, as her long and thin fingers adjusted the elegant, short black dress on its sides. “To old friends, and new friends.” Virginia then looked at Francesca, giggling in her mind as she saw her blush.  
“To this encounter.” Richard repeated, holding up his shot in the middle, to cling his glass with the others. The others did the same, and then swallowed the shot in a gulp. Francesca made a grimace, as her throat burned incredibly.  
“Now we’re friends, get used to shots.” Till told Francesca, laughing. “Another?”  
“I think…I’ve had enough for the night.” Francesca said. “I need to rest now, so I’m going to my room.” Richard was struck by that sentence. To bed? Just now? Had he done something wrong?  
“So soon?” Till asked, with the cutest pout. Francesca laughed, and nodded.  
“It was so great meeting you. Thank you. To you too, Richard.” She said then, to the smaller man on her right. Richard smiled, with a corner of his mouth. He needed more though, and couldn’t let her go away.  
“Do you want me to come?” Virginia whispered, and Francesca shook her head with a smile.  
“I’m good. Really good. See you tomorrow.” Francesca said, reassuring Virginia.  
“So long, mademoiselle.” Till said, with a bow. “It was a pleasure.” Francesca bowed as well, appreciating how theatrical and gentleman Till was. She now knew why Virginia liked him so much.  
After the girl had left, Richard stood there still for a moment. His head, definitely drunk, could still figure out that he couldn’t let her go like that.  
“Till, Virginia…I'm…I’m going to bed too. Bis morgen, Till.” Richard said then, leaning in to leave a kiss on Virginia’s cheek. He made his way to the door, and Till grabbed him on his arm before he could leave.  
“Sei nicht dumm. Think, Reesh.” Till said, planting his green eyes in Richard’s blue and tired pupils.  
“I won’t. I just…just need to fix something.” Richard reassured Till, and Virginia nodded. Richard then left, with a wave, walking as fast as he could through the party and through people shopping him.  
“He’s a nice man, Till.” Virginia said. “Besides, I told you before. I wanted them to meet.”  
“He's…an old, tired guy, who falls in love easily and that has been disappointed a lot by women. I just…hope he doesn’t screw it up.” Till said, with a sigh. Virginia leant closer to Till, kissing him on his temples.  
“He’s a grown man. It’s too early to predict something, but well…let the kids enjoy themselves.” Virginia said, with a smile.  
Francesca walked to the elevators, relaxed and smiling to herself. She still felt the typical flavour of tequila in her mouth, and it was pleasant. Her head felt light because of the alcohol she had drunk during the night to calm herself, but she was still feeling alright. There was something that she couldn’t remove from her sight though: She couldn’t stop thinking about Richard’s eyes. How they had looked at her, how she had been amazed and how they had given her a sense of calmness. A sense of home. As if she had always known him. She heard steps behind her, as she pushed her finger on the elevator’s button, and her heart jumped as she turned to look at who it was.  
“Hey! Hey, I…I’m going to my room too. My head is killing me.” It was Richard. He leant on the wall next to the elevator, and was almost breathing hard because of the rush with which he had arrived there. Francesca looked at him, and a smile involuntarily appeared on her face. Richard caught her doing so, and smiled to himself looking down at his shoes.  

“I know the feeling.” She replied, holding herself from looking at him directly in the eyes. “A good night of sleep and some coffee tomorrow, and everything will…will be okay.” Richard nodded, and the two of them remained in silence for a minute that seemed to be a year. Richard’s head was a vortex of thoughts. He had left Till and the others to run to the girl, but to say what? The elevator arrived, and Richard opened an arm to invite her to get in first. Francesca stepped inside the elevator, and looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. She saw Richard’s reflection, and felt warmth around her chest and in her stomach. 

“Where to?” Richard asked.   


“Fourth.”   


“I’m going to the fifth. So you first.” Richard replied, pushing the number four on the keypad of the elevator. For a moment, Richard cursed his bad luck. Of course, her room was on another floor. Then, silence again. Francesca looked down at her beige heels. She heard Richard moving, and saw him nervously pinch on his lower lip. And in a couple of minutes, the elevator was already at the fourth floor. The ‘ding’ sound brought them back to reality, and Francesca got ready to get out. 

“Good…good night then.”

“Can I…can I talk to you for a second?” Richard said, getting out of the elevator with her. He was looking at her in the eyes, in expectation, hoping that she would allow him to think. Francesca turned around, and nodded as she tried to hide the fact that she was blushing. 

“S-sure.”   


“Ok. Listen, I…I’m sorry if I…you know, if I said or did something that has bothered you.” Richard said. Francesca shrugged, with a slightly nervous smile. “I…I had the feeling you left…because of me.”

“You…you didn’t bother me at all, Richard.” Francesca replied. “You…you want to know something? Actually…I didn’t even want to come to that party.” Richard chuckled, and Francesca felt that warm feeling in her chest again.   


“Really?”   


“Yes. But you…you made it bearable. You turned the night around.” she continued, fiddling. “So, not only you didn’t do or say something that bothered me, but…” Francesca smiled at Richard again, finding the courage to look him in the eyes. “…You made everything…better. Thank you, Richard.” Richard felt his heart explode. It was a weird feeling, a feeling he hadn’t had for a while now. It was good. Really good. 

“I still…I still think you’re beautiful, though. That…that doesn’t change.” Richard said, opening his arms in a surrender gesture. Francesca laughed, and to Richard that sound felt like the sweetest of songs.   


“Thank you again, then.” Francesca said, feeling her cheeks almost hurt for how much she was smiling. “Good night again, Richard. See…See you soon, I hope.” Richard bowed, and gently took Francesca’s hand in his again, as he had done before, as he had met her. He then let her go, after the longest minute. Richard smiled again, and pushed the elevator’s button.   


“Gute Nacht, Fräulein.”   


Richard watched her walk down the corridor, dreading the moment in which the elevator arrived. He couldn’t do anything stupid and follow her, spoiling everything with a cheap attempt to try and get into his room. That is a life he had decided to leave behind, learning from his mistakes. He had decided to start just in that moment, making everything right. He let her go, having faith in the future, having faith in what fate would have brought him. He let her go…for now. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Richard...decides to risk.

“Good morning.” 

Francesca heard those words, but didn’t even think they were for her. She was at the check-out desk, having a chat with the reception assistant, and she was definitely still trying to wake up completely. 

“Good morning, Francesca.”

She heard her name being called, and this time a hand gently brushed on her shoulder, so she turned around. It took her a second to recognize the voice, to recognize the sensation that her name being pronounced by that voice caused in her. Richard. 

“Hey. Good morning Richard.” the girl felt her breath go away for a second. “I’m sorry, I just…hate to be up at this hour.” Richard smiled. His hair was down on his head, covered by a beanie hat. There was some scruff on his jawline, but his face looked clean and relaxed. His blue eyes looked sweeter than ever. 

“How was your night?” Richard said, as he leant on the reception desk next to her. 

“Not bad, thank you. I had…I had a wonderful dream.” Francesca didn’t know why she had said that, as a smile appeared on her face. Richard chuckled, and looked at the girl as she wasn’t looking. She was wearing a simple pair of jeans that framed the curve of her hips, and a navy blue Abercrombie sweatshirt. Her make up was little to none, very natural, but she still looked like the night before, with her short blonde hair a little scruffled up on the top of her head. She looked incredibly cute to Richard’s eyes. 

“I am glad to hear that. Actually, I hope I had a part in it.” Richard kept playing with her, and enjoyed seeing the smile that kept lighting up her round face. “You…are you busy at the moment?”

“No, not…not really. Just preparing to leave.” Francesca replied. Richard had to admit to himself that those words made his heart skip a beat. He had just met her…But the thought of her going away already somehow bothered him. In a way he couldn’t describe. 

“Well, uhm…how about a coffee? Do you have some time for…for me?” Richard decided to risk. He didn’t even know why he was feeling that nervous sensation in his stomach as he had asked her. It was something not new, but surely something he hadn’t felt in a while. 

“Coffee? With..with you?” Francesca repeated, with a smile. Richard could see her blushing, and tried not too stare too long at her so he would not embarrass her too much. He couldn’t help but think how sweet and beautiful she was, even on that cold, Russian summer morning.   
“I guess…I guess it’s fine. Sure, why not?” Richard’s lips opened up in the biggest of smiles. 

“There’s a nice, quiet bar on the other side of the Street. Would it be okay?” Richard proposed, as the two of them started walking towards the exit of the big hotel. Francesca threw the leather jacket that she was carrying over her shoulders, as a shivers went down her spine. 

“Of course. I’ve got some time to spare, Virginia is going to call me anyways when we’re ready to go.” The girl answered, as they looked on both sides of the Street to cross the road. Every time she mentioned that she was going away, Richard felt like a clutch around his heart. And the worst thing was, he couldn’t explain the exact reason why. He nodded at what she said, taking a look at the grey sky above them. The skyline of Moscow was all around them.   
They entered the bar, and Richard was greeted directly by the bartender. He came out with a huge smile on his face from behind the counter, and firmly shook Richard’s hands. Francesca watched, amused. For a moment she had forgotten how she was in company of a celebrity. The bartender shook her hand too, and showed them the way to a small round table, right in front of the window.  
The bar was, thankfully, quiet. Francesca glanced at the hotel on the other side of the street and awed at its magnificence. She couldn’t help but notice, with the corner of her eye, that Richard was trying to catch glimpses of her, hoping to go unnoticed. 

“I’ll get an espresso and a slice of that Apple pie, thank you.” she said to the bartender as he came to get their order. “Spasiba.” Richard laughed, and spoke a little bit of Russian to the bartender, ordering for himself. “Well, I’ll have you know that I understood what you ordered. Cake and…American coffee?” 

“Da. I am impressed, Fräulein.” Richard replied, happy to see the smile of victory that was now on the girl’s face. “When did you study Russian?” 

“At University, a couple of years ago now. I liked it but…I never dedicated enough time to it.” Francesca replied. The bartender, in the meantime, had brought the order for them. “You seem better than me at speaking it.” Richard chuckled as he took off his hat and then grabbed a small pack of sugar from a bowl in the middle of the table. Francesca bit her lip as she looked at his fingers and at the black on his nails. He truly was a one of a kind being. 

“Here and there, for traveling.” Richard admitted, with a shrug. 

“Not for women?” Francesca teased, as she used the small fork to take a small piece of her apple pie to bring it to her mouth. Richard raised his eyebrows, and then passed one of his fingers on his mouth to clean a drop of hot coffee that was left there. The girl thought that, if he was doing it on purpose, he was teasing her pretty well. She didn’t know if she could keep up with a man so experienced in driving women crazy. And for a moment she wished she could stay in Russia for a few more days, cursing her job. 

“No, not for women. Well…maybe a few years ago. Till likes Russian women more. Or better…” Richard laughed, thinking of his friend and bandmate, “It’s Russian women that chase him.” Francesca laughed as well, enojying herself. She took every chance that it was possible to her to study him, to remember every single detail of that man. How the shirt designed the curves of the muscles on his arms and on his chest, how time had left its signs on the corners of his mouth - without making him look old, but instead making him look more interesting, - how his eyes were so curious and yet so tired. It was his eyes that had caught her the other night, and his eyes would definitely be carved in her memory forever. Especially now that she had seen them from that close distance. 

Francesca’s phone then vibrated. It vibrated long, resting on the table: it was a moment that both of them were dreading. It was Virginia calling.   
“Hey, V. Are we ready?” Francesca spoke, as she looked at Richard for a moment and smiled at him. Richard smiled back at her, and took his smartphone out to send a text in the meantime he finished drinking his long coffee. “I am on the other side of the street. Yes. Yes…” she added, blushing. “Yep. Okay. Be there in a minute.” She closed the call, and sighed. Richard put his phone away, and gave her his full attention. He jokingly pouted, and Francesca laughed.   
“Time to go, I guess?” 

“Yes. Too bad, hm?” Francesca replied, moving a tuft of blonde hair away from her forehead. “Do you mind if we go back?” 

“Not at all. Let’s go.” Richard stood up, and waited for the girl to follow him. Of course, the bartender didn’t want any of them to pay. Richard was a returning guest, and since Francesca was with him, she was a friend of his too. Still, Richard left him a generous tip, and so did Francesca. The Russian bartender thanked them, but he didn’t even want them to tip him. So, between laughter and gratefulness for the delicious breakfast they’d had just had, Richard and the girl left the bar. 

“You will have to excuse him. Sergej is a generous guy.” Richard chuckled, putting back his grey beanie hat. “We haven’t been paying him for years now…” Francesca laughed as the two of them crossed the road back to the hotel. Virginia was already waiting there, standing on a pair of black heeled boots and wearing a casual total black outfit. She smirked at her friend as soon as she had seen her, and Francesca fought to keep an embarrassed laugh in. 

“Hey, beautiful woman. Alles gut?” Richard said to Virginia, leaning in to leave a kiss on her cheek.   
“Alles gut. I’m sorry to take her away, but the shuttle is waiting to take us to the airport.” Virginia said. She had a hint of sadness in her voice as well. Richard looked down at his feet, and his hand reached for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket, holding on to it firmly. That moment was making him extremely nervous, but he really didn’t want to show it. 

“Oh…well, okay. My bags are…”

“Already in the van.” Virginia said, with a sigh. “I’ll wait inside for you then, okay? Reesh, it was so good to see you again.” Virginia threw her arms around Richard’s neck, and squeezed him gently. Richard brushed his hand on her back, with a smile. Virginia then winked at Francesca, as her boots clicked on the stone of the hotel’s entrance. And there it was again: that moment of eloquent silence between them.   
“I hate saying goodbye to people though.” Francesca was the first to speak. Richard, for a moment, let go of the cigarettes, and smiled. 

“Say ‘Auf wiedersehen’ then. Arri…arri…how do you say it in Italian?” Richard said, with a laugh. Francesca laughed as well, internally squealing at how cute Richard’s attempt to speak her language had been. But she had caught his intention. And she admitted to himself that she agreed with him. Auf wiedersehen, meaning 'to see again’. 

“Arrivederci.” she told him, in a sweet voice. Richard heard her Italian accent for the first time, and loved it. “Yes, I really hope that…I will see you again.” Francesca said. Then she did something she never thought she would have had the courage to do. She threw her left arm around Richard’s neck, as her heart started racing incontrollably. Then she left a kiss on Richard’s right cheek, the contact with his skin making a warm sensation exploded inside of her. Richard couldn’t help but smile and let himself go to that pleasant feeling that seemed to take over his whole body. He took the chance to place a hand on her back, as lightly as he could, for what seemed like ages. Then she let him go, and he had to do the same. He took one last look at her, as if he wanted to print every feature of her face in his memory. 

“Safe travel, girl.” Richard said to her. Francesca nodded as she slowly started to walk towards the van. 

“Thank you. Say bye to Till from me.” Francesca replied, as she entered the van waving. Richard hold up his hand to say bye as well. The van was off after a minute, driving away to the airport. Richard groaned, and grabbed the pack of cigarettes. He immediately lit one up and inhaled deeply, letting out a thick cloud of white smoke. His phone rang, the sound of Kiss’ “Rock'n'roll all nite” coming to his ears.   
“Till?”  
“What’s the emergency? I read your text.”   
“Till…we need to talk. It’s important, I need your help.”  
“Oh come on…there’s Paul for that.”  
“Don’t be a dick to me, please…”  
“Just kidding. Come upstairs, schnell.”  
“Danke.” 

Richard closed the call, and finished smoking his cigarette. Then he took a deep sigh and pushed his palm on his forehead, shaking his head to himself.   
“Richard Kruspe…what is happening to you? Ach…Zum Teufel.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dietrich. Bitte.”
> 
> “Don’t call me Dietrich.”

“I have to, Till!”

“Okay, aber jetzt…relax, bitte.” Till said, placing his hands on Richard’s deltoids. Richard was sitting on the small sofa in Till’s room. Till’s finger massaged his friend’s muscles for a few seconds, with long and flowing movements. Richard sighed, closing his eyes and hissing every time Till touched a point on his deltoids that hurt him.

“I…I cannot relax.” Richard said. “Even if you’re good at this.” Till laughed.

“Danke.” Till replied, as he kept on trying to take the tension off Richard’s shoulders. “Reesh, you understand it’s something…a bit risky? I mean, I can get that you liked her but…”

“That’s why I have to risk. I’ve got a feeling…it’s not sex I want.” Richard put it all out, simple as that. “If I wanted sex, I wouldn’t have to do it.” Till nodded. He agreed on that, because if Richard Kruspe wanted a night of sex it really wasn’t hard to find it. He had talked with Richard a lot of times about their different views on what they wanted in their life. Richard, recently, had fallen into a melancholic state, thinking that maybe he really wanted to finally settle down. Like Paul, like Flake, like Christoph. Yet, on the other side, nobody had caused him to stop and rethink his crazy ‘live by the day’ attitude. Until that moment.

“And why did you write me that you needed to ask me something?” Till said. “Can’t you just go on your own?” Richard swallowed hard. Then, he turned around to look at his friend, making - in Till’s opinion, - the most ridiculous puppy eyes he had ever seen.

“Dietrich. Bitte.”  
“Don’t call me Dietrich.”  
“Mein Lieber Till. Please. Could you come with me to Italy to see Francesca?” Richard said. Those words just flew out of his mouth, like a river. He didn’t stop them. He didn’t want to stop them. Till had the most heartfelt laugh he had had in a while.   
“Du bist verrückt.” Till replied, sitting down next to him. “Why must I come?”  
“I need you by my side. I can’t ask the others, they…”  
“I know. They’re crazy, but not enough.” Till replied, patting Richard on the shoulder.  
“Come on. We have…Like what, five days?” Richard continued. “We can stay at their hotel.”  
“I’m tired of hotels.” Till replied. “I’m sure Virginia will host me. I want to be in a real house for once.” Richard shrugged, and a huge smile appeared on his face.   
“What is up between you two?”

“It is none of your business.” Till laughed, scruffling up the smaller man’s hair. “Okay then. Off to Florence tomorrow, after tonight’s concert.” Richard stood up, tiptoeing so he would get to kiss Till’s forehead. Till laughed, and shook his head at Richard.   
“Thank you. Thank you so, so much.” Richard said, with a voice that seemed to come from the depths of his heart. “I’m booking my room at the hotel. Please, tell Virginia that I want this to be a surprise.” Till nodded, and smiled at his friend. It really was good to see him that way. To see him smiling so much, to see him looking forward to that new encounter with that girl. He couldn’t wait to tell all about it to Virginia. He waved as Richard left to go to his room, and prepared to get out of the hotel to leave for the concert venue.   
In his room, Richard prepared his suitcase as quickly as he could, after having used his smartphone to book a room in the hotel in Florence where Francesca and Virginia worked. He felt excitement running through his veins, he was trying really hard not to lose focus for the concert on that same night. The sadness from Francesca leaving had suddenly left room for the happiness that would have brought him to see her again. He really didn’t know how she would take it, but he had to risk. He felt like he had to. He would have been 49 in a few days now, but he felt like 20 all over again. That had been that girl’s magic on him. He was in that early phase in which he could see her face literally everywhere. He really wished he could have invited her to that evening’s show in Moscow…He would have struck her even more, he knew that. Or, maybe, it was better not to have her there looking at him while he played. It surely would have caused him to lose a little bit of focus. He imagined what it would have been like to have her watch him from backstage…and he felt something burst in his heart.

* * *

 

Francesca pushed the back door that lead to the Spa open. It was a wonderful, hot sunny day. Not even a cloud was in the vivid blue sky above Florence. She was ready to start another day of work after the small break in Russia. She went at the front office, her heels clicking on the marble floor. As soon as she arrived at the front, she saw Virginia already at her position, in her cream and Ivory uniform and her long dark hair settled up very elegantly on the back of her head. Virginia turned her head a smiled big at her younger friend.   
“Hey, good morning.” Virginia said.

“To you too. How are things today?” Francesca took a look at the computer, checking the appointments of the day. Francesca heard Virginia’s small chuckle, and looked at her friend, confused.   
“What’s so funny?”

“Uh? Oh, nothing.” Virginia replied, leaving the front desk to tidy up the costumes section of the Spa’s retail area. Francesca knew her friend too well to settle down with what she had said.   
“I don’t trust you, at all.” The girl smiled nervously as she started replying e-mails on the computer.   
“You will see.” Virginia said, coming back behind the counter. Francesca didn’t mind her friend too much, and just kept on with her work. She checked if everything was in order, she went around the hotel to complete tasks from time to time, and time for her lunchbreak came sooner than she thought.   
“I’m checking my schedule for tomorrow, then I’m off to lunch.” Francesca told Virginia, as she went in the back office again, going behind the curtain. It was when she was already looking at her working hours for the week after, that she heard the Spa’s door being opened, but she didn’t mind it at all.   
“Babe, could you come here for a moment?” She heard Virginia’s voice calling her, and sighed. Hunger was driving her crazy at that moment, and she just wanted to sit down. Yet, she went back to the front pushing the curtain open.   
“Good mor…R…Rich…Richard?!”

In the silence, it took her a good second to recollect herself and realize what was happening.   
Richard.  
In a moment, her face turned red. She felt her skin burning, her heart racing like a high speed train. Her breath stopped in her throat, because of happiness and because of complete astonishment. He was there, in flesh and bones. With a pair of jeans that deliciously stuck to the muscles of his thighs and a V neck grey Ramones t-shirt. His eyes were smiling like his lips. He was…diabolically handsome. His eyes… there they were once again. Deep, blue, expressive. One could tell, Richard was excited as well.

“Hello.” Richard said, with a little wave. Virginia stood there, enjoying the scene in front of her eyes with her hands on her mouth. It was like a real life movie to her. And she was thankful that there weren’t any other clients at that moment.

“Richard!” Francesca then finally said, using all of her forces. Her voice was a mixture of feelings: surprise, happiness, shock. As if she was guided by a mysterious force pushing her, she left her place behind the counter and went at the front, her arms around Richard’s neck in a moment, squeezing him and keeping him close. Richard let his arms slide around her waist, letting a laugh out. He didn’t want to say anything. He wanted that moment to last. He had imagined it while on his way to Italy, he had imagined what she would have said and what she would have done. But nothing he had thought of could compare with how beautiful, sweet and spontaneous her gesture had been.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” Francesca then said, freeing him from her hug. “I really don’t know what happened to me, I’m…I’m so sorry, Richard.” She was blushing again, even worse than before. Richard laughed, and gently brushed his fingers on her chin. It was so good to see her. Her smile, her eyes. Her small frame, with those hips to die for… everything he had dreamed to see while on his journey there.

“Don’t be. I’m happy…happy to see you, too.” Richard said, glancing for a moment at Virginia. Virginia winked at him.

“You’re just in time for her lunchbreak.” Virginia said. “Why don’t you guys grab a bite by the pool?” Francesca became pale in a moment. Richard looked at her, biting his lower lip as he did so. Of course, everything had been set up with Virginia the night before.   
“Can I…can I go?” Francesca asked Virginia. The other girl nodded, happily.   
“Our manager already knows.” She reassured her. “Too bad it’s only for half an hour, eh Richard?” Richard smiled, then blew a kiss to Virginia.   
“I’ll just steal her for this time then.” Richard said. “I promise to bring her back.” Francesca couldn’t help but smile. Virginia had done everything under her nose, even asking her manager if for that day she could spend he lunchbreak with Richard. That normal day at work had just turned out to be out of the ordinary. Richard. Richard. She repeated his name in her mind, she squeezed her eyes as tight as she could so she would realize it wasn’t a dream.

The two of them left the Spa, and walked by the pool. Kids were swimming and their laughter filled the air. Various clients sit on the sunbeds around the pool, as attendants brought them white wine and fruit smoothies.   
“You first.” Richard pointed at stools in front of the bar, and Francesca sat down, saying hi to her bartender colleague. Richard sat right next to her.   
“This…I am still in my bed right?” Francesca then said. “I am sleeping, I am at home, I didn’t come to work today.” Richard laughed, a genuine and beautiful laugh.   
“Touch me all you want.” He then said to her, leaning closer. “I am real, I swear.” Francesca felt her cheeks hurting from how much she was smiling. There he was, Richard the teaser. And she didn’t mind it one bit.   
“So…you are…on a break?” She finally asked, ordering a sandwich and a bottle of water. Richard nodded. He felt his heart beating so fast…  
“Five days. And I’ve never been too much in Florence.” He said, taking the glass of Bloody Mary that the bartender had left in front of him. “It will be a chance to enjoy of Italy’s beauties for me.” Francesca watched him as he drank the cocktail. 'Italy’s beauties’. The curve of his bicep flexing to take the glass to his mouth literally killed her. She ate the sandwich, feeling the food in her stomach collapse with the numerous butterflies in it.   
“Are you alone?” That question came out a little bit shyly from her mouth. After all, she didn’t know too much about him. For all she knew, he could even have a wife.   
“Till is with me.” Richard replied. “But he’s not staying here. He’s at Virginia’s.” Francesca smiled. Of course he stayed at Virginia’s. She was so happy to know that her friend was having fun and had that wonderful human being that was Till Lindemann staying at her place. Smart woman, Virginia.   
“Good.” Francesca continued.   
“At what time does your shift end?” Richard said, surprising her. What was he thinking of?   
“At seven.”  
“I have a proposal.”   
“Let’s hear it then.” Francesca leant on her hand, as her elbow rested on the pool bar’s counter. Richard smiled at her with a corner of his mouth. He was the devil. He really was.   
“How about you take me around for a night tour of the city center?” Richard asked, taking out his cigarettes. “Not like a tourist, but like someone who live here. Would you like to be my guide?” Francesca watched as he did the familiar gesture of lighting up his cigarette. How was it possible for him to be extremely fascinating all the time? What was it that dragged her to him so magnetically?   
“If you let me go home and get changed maybe…”

“No, please.” Richard asked, gently touching her forearm with his hand. “I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t care how you’re dressed.” Richard continued, and Francesca couldn’t help but thank her good star for placing that man on her path. She shivered at the touch of his hand, and nodded.  
“Well..okay then.” She said, coming down from the stool. “I will…I will see you at the hotel’s entrance then, 20 minutes past seven.” Richard let out the last cloud of white smoke before pushing the cigarette in the ashtray. He had the cutest victory expression on his face.   
“Deal.” Richard said, as he stood up and accompanied her back to the Spa.   
“Wear comfortable shoes.” She advised him. “And prepare yourself for the most original tour of the city.” Richard felt happy like a child on Christmas morning. He escorted her to the Spa feeling like he was walking on clouds. He took the chance to investigate every part of her body, how her uniform made her more elegant but still natural.   
“Richard?” Francesca asked, turning around and stopping him.   
“Ja?”   
“You came here…for vacation purposes, right?” She continued. “You do know that if, by any chance, you came here for another reason…” she moved her hands in the air as she spoke, “…well, that would cause incontrollable happiness and a perpetuous increased heart rate for the rest of the day?” Richard laughed again. He knew she would have asked him that question. He wanted to admit to himself and to her that he had traveled all those miles for her. He wanted to admit that he had asked Till to come with him so that he could support him in that moment. He wanted to tell her that he was there only because of her. As soon as he had seen her, as soon as she had thrown her arms around him he knew he had made the right choice, following his instincts. But it wasn’t the right moment to tell her all of that.   
“Alright.” He said, leaning in to leave a soft, long kiss on her cheek. “I will keep that in mind. See you tonight, Fräulein.” Richard then pulled his sunglasses on his eyes, much to the girl’s disappointment that had to lose sight of those piercing blue eyes. Richard left her at the entrance of the Spa and started walking away, before stopping for a moment. “I might spend the rest of the day by the pool. Come say hi when you want.” Francesca nodded, as she stood there like an idiot. A definitely happy idiot. She watched as he made his way to a sun bed, and as he took off his shirt and his jeans, under which he already had a dark blue boxer costume. He had thought it all out, that handsome son of a bitch. Her eyes traveled, hungrily, all around his body. His thighs, his chest - she adored men’s pectorals, and for being almost 49 Richard looked wonderfully defined. Melancholic, she sighed and pushed the door of the Spa open, and took one last glance at him through the glass doors.   
“How are you feeling?” Virginia appeared behind her, with a huge smile on her red lips. Francesca seemed to be on another planet. She threw her arms around her friend, and hugged her for a good minute.   
“I knew you had something on your mind, Cupid.” Francesca said, to which Virginia laughed.   
“He did it all by himself, dear.” Virginia replied. “I just made sure it was a surprise. Thank him, not me.” Francesca felt another wave of happiness crash over her heart. All by himself…but she decided not to let her mind build impossible fairy tale scenarios. Yet, it was extremely difficult. She went back behind the counter, singing to herself.

“I’ll be a gambler baby…lay down the bet…”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You were right." Richard said, after the waitress had brought him his frozen cocktail. "It seems delicious." Francesca smiled, happy. Then she took a sip of her cocktail with a straw, as Richard looked at her. She was so cute, and playful, and he couldn't help but keep his eyes on her. He could look at her for the whole night, and he could listen to her voice speak in that cute accent for hours.

  
The end of her work shift came, after what had seemed to be the longest and most boring hours of her life. Francesca said bye to her colleagues, and rushed to the back office to take her backpack and make her way to the staff changing rooms. She looked at the summer evening sky, a wave of heat engulfing her as soon as she had left the building, walking through the hotel's garden. The sky was already turning into beautiful shades of yellow and orange, but there was still a lot of light.   
As soon as she arrived in the changing rooms, she ran into the shower. She felt incredibly grateful of the fact that she kept shower gel and a towel in her locker. God only knew she would have had to use them to go out with Richard Kruspe. Richard. The thought of Richard crossed her mind multiple times as she stood under the hot stream of water. She thought of the moment in which he had taken out his already too tight clothes to sit by the pool and relax in the sun. Her mind remembered the sweet hills of his shoulders, of his thighs, of his chest...and she felt a warm sensation down at her stomach.

She quickly got out of the shower before her thoughts could get too dirty, and after removing her now messed up make up, she reapplied only some mascara and eyeliner on. She took a good look at herself, dressed in a black and white pair of harem pants, and a white oversized t-shirt. She definitely didn't feel ready. But that was the best she could do without going home. She sighed at her image, feeling her heartbeat starting to race. She couldn't yet believe what night laid ahead for her, and her steps towards the magnificent hotel lobby seemed to be at an unbearable slow motion pace. She looked out the arch of the entrance, and there he was.

Richard was looking at the evening sky above, with a cigarette between his index and middle finger. He was wearing a black button up shirt, slightly opened on his chest. A pair of dark denim jeans wrapped around his legs. This image of him against the setting sun caused a jump in Francesca's chest. She took a deep breath, and walked down the steps of the entrance: the short heels of her sandals clicking on stone made Richard turn around.

"Hey, lady." Richard said, with a smile. He leant in to leave a kiss on her cheek, and then took a moment to eye her up. "How was work?"

"Not bad, thank you." Francesca replied. Just like the first time she had met him, his perfume got a hold of her senses. Richard's scent reminded her of the sea: it was intense, and calming at the same time. "Let's walk then. Do you like margaritas?" Richard chuckled and started walking next to her along the sidewalk.

"I do, actually. Are margaritas a thing in Tuscany?" Richard asked, as Francesca smiled back at him.

"Not really...but I want to take you to my favourite place to have a drink here in Florence." The girl answered. "Only if that is okay with you." Richard looked at her for an endless minute, as they walked through the narrow streets of the city center. He would have followed whatever she would have decided. It wasn't the time to be the dominant one, yet. Even if she was dressed very casual, he couldn't help but like her anyway. She was...simple, in a good way. Simplicity...that was what he was looking for in that time of his life.

The two of them, after a good twenty minutes walk, arrived in a small square, and Francesca pointed at the entrance of a bar: it looked dark from the outside, but as soon as they had walked in - going down a very narrow staircase, - the place seemed to be cozy and very nice. Mexican flags decorated the place, the atmosphere was light hearted and latino music filled the air.

"I hope you'll like it here." Francesca told Richard, as the waiters showed them to a small table for two. "It's my favourite place in this city." Richard nodded, and smiled again at her. He sat down on the bench on one side of the table, and the girl sat on his right. He felt a shiver as her finger brushed on his forearms, as she opened the menu to take a look at the cocktails.

"I'd suggest a frozen Margarita. It's like...an alcoholic ice cream." She said, as Richard smiled.

  
"Remember what Till said?" He asked. "Now you know us... prepare yourself for shots." He had a playful expression in his eyes. Francesca sighed, with a smile.

  
"Okay...shots, as a warm up then." She replied, as Richard victoriously knocked with his fingers on the wooden table. Richard held up his arm, calling the waitress. Francesca giggled as she watched him order two shots of tequila, salt and lime. He really did look like a child, ready to play his favourite game. And it felt so natural being around him, that all the nervous feelings she had been having the whole day at work really didn't matter anymore. He was there with her, like a normal man. A normal, incredibly fascinating and gorgeous grown up man.

"Fertig?" Richard asked, with a joyful light in his blue eyes. The shots had arrived, and he had placed a pinch of salt on his right hand, and was holding the tequila shot in the other. Francesca nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Fertig. Prost!" Francesca took all her courage and gulped the three ingredients, one by one. The tequila burned in her throat, and the lime combined with salt made her do the funniest of disgusted expressions. Richard laughed, after doing his shot, and with the back of his hand cleaned the lime juice left on the corners of his mouth.

"Good one." He said, lending her a hand and shaking it. "Now, we're set for cocktails." Richard rhythmically tapped his fingers on the table, as he looked around the small place. It was in that moment that Francesca took the chance to look at him as much as she could. The image connected perfectly with the one she remembered from the night in Russia, and despite being a celebrity he really was showing her the "real" Richard. She was curious, though, to see how he transformed every time he stepped on stage. And the thought send a pleasant shiver down her back.

"You were right." Richard said, after the waitress had brought him his frozen cocktail. "It seems delicious." Francesca smiled, happy. Then she took a sip of her cocktail with a straw, as Richard looked at her. She was so cute, and playful, and he couldn't help but keep his eyes on her. He could look at her for the whole night, and he could listen to her voice speak in that cute accent for hours.

  
After drinks at the bar, Francesca took Richard around the most particular areas of the city center of Florence. They were at the Duomo when a man offered Richard to "buy a rose for his daughter", to which Francesca laughed and Richard just shook his head, buying a rose for her anyways.

  
"Thanks. Daddy." Francesca then said, smelling the perfume of the fresh rose. Richard smirked and raised his eyebrows.

  
"Didn't know you were into this sort of things." Richard replied, and Francesca slid an arm under his elbow.

  
"I'm not into this sort of things. Are you?" She replied. Richard shook his head. He loved the playful light in her eyes in that moment, as they walked among tourists.  
"Contrary to popular beliefs, us Rammstein guys are pretty simple man." Richard told her. "I am the simplest of them all."

Francesca looked at him and tried to investigate what he had just said. In that day in which they had been apart, she had looked everywhere on the internet to find out more about him, watching him play live in videos. He was different from when he was on stage. He was a man, not a metal god. He didn't have that look in his eyes with which he could have owned every single man and woman on the planet. His voice was gentle, not like the ancestral and guttural voice with which he said "Ich finde dich" during Du riechst so gut. He really looked simpler than she thought he was.

"Care to escort me home?" she asked, after a few moments in which they walked in silence. Richard nodded, with a smile.

  
"Do you live far from here?"

  
"It's on the river." Francesca replied, as she kept on walking. "Ten minutes from here, and hopefully we'll get there before it starts raining." She looked at the sky above, getting darker by the second. People around them were already starting to take out their umbrellas from their bags, or hurrying to arrive at their hotel door.

"How was your day by the pool?" she asked, as a thunder echoed around them. In the narrow streets of Florence, the sight of the Arno river slowly opened in front of them. A dark but poetic atmosphere had fallen over the city.

"Relaxing." Richard replied, blowing the smoke of the cigarette between his fingers. "I've observed you as well." at that sentence Francesca took Richard's arm under her, and he felt a lightning cross his entire body, from the tip of his hair to his toes.

"You have observed me? While I was working?"

"Yes." Richard admitted, with a chuckle. "You were so busy, and focused. Clients seemed to like you." Francesca smiled, and looked at Richard with an irresistible, sweet stare.

"Thank you." she replied, squeezing his arm a little bit tighter. "I must admit something to you though." Richard felt intense expectation rise inside every vein of his body, he could feel his heart beat in his throat.

"Shoot."

"Since...seeing you this morning," she began speaking, as an embarrassed but natural smile climbed onto her lips, "I've been feeling twice as productive, twice as excited, twice as...powerful." Richard desperately wanted to take her face between his hands and give her the most mind blowing kiss she had ever had. She had expressed what he had felt since the moment she had appeared into his life. All the doubts, all the insecure thoughts he'd been having - mostly because of Till trying to make him think, - were fading away like sugar in a cup of tea. "So yeah...thank you. You've had a wonderful impact on...on my work day. On me."

"My pleasure."

  
The rain caught them: slowly, it started like a drizzle. Then, it gained force and started pouring all over them. They were already along the river, where Francesca's flat was. Francesca started laughing, seeing how Richard now stood with crossed arms under the rain. A drop of water ran down his nose, as a smile widened on the man's lips.

"What's so funny?" Richard asked, as he followed Francesca while she walked towards the building where her flat was.

"You." She replied, looking inside her bag for her keys. Richard chuckled, and skipped a beat at the sight of her white t-shirt sticking to her upper body. The smell of the rain combined with her perfume, and the wet clothes covering her made for a wonderful atmosphere. 

  
"Oh really?" Richard replied, with a laugh. "What's so funny about a wet, old man?" as he spoke, he got closer to the girl as she kept on looking for the keys to her house.   
Richard gently took her forearm between his fingers, stopping her research. Francesca looked up at him, her blonde pixie hair wet on her head, her mascara still hanging to her lashes. She unexpectedly found herself so close to the man, and his touch took her breath away for a second. Richard's hand then went up, sliding from her cheek to the back of her head, pulling her closer. He leant in, kindly but with decision. The rain wasn't going to stop any time soon, and he was ready. Full of fear that he would make things worse, but after all he had come all the way to risk it. It was all in, or nothing.

"Richard..."

"Shh."

Richard sent one last smile to her, before letting his lips finally touch hers. For a few seconds, he just enjoyed the energy that seemed to be flowing from her body to his, lightly tasting her. It was a sensation that made all of his being shake with expectation and desire. He felt her small hands on his hips, gripping onto him and bringing him closer to her. Richard greedily kissed her, his fingers passing through her short hair. He loved how she was giving into him, yet without losing herself completely. It was a moment that seemed to be straight from a movie. For a moment, Richard opened his eyes and looked at Francesca. He smirked at how she kept on searching for his mouth, as she slowly opened her eyes. He leant in again, leaving another, soft, languid kiss on her lips. She tasted of alcohol, lime and honey.

“You made it.” Francesca then whispered, still holding onto his hips with one hand, as the other traveled to his arm.

“Did I?” Richard replied, moving a wet bang from her forehead.

“You made me shut up.” she continued, tiptoeing to kiss him again. Richard couldn’t help but smile again at her. His heart could have jumped out of his chest in that moment. The worst though, came as his smartphone rang in his pocket. Groaning, he let his hand slide and take the phone, and he rolled his eyes as he read the name on the screen. Till.

“Till. Ja. In this…in this very moment.” Richard smiled, as with his other hand he caressed Francesca’s cheek. “Bad timing. Yep. No. Nothing stupid, I know. Yes, I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast. Okay. Bye. I hate you. Good night.” Richard chuckled, as he closed the call with his friend. Francesca had taken that moment to observe him, to enjoy every single, little part of his being. He was like no one she had ever met before. He was different. And he looked even more handsome under the rain. Richard shook his head, trying to get rid to some of the water that was on his hair.

“See you tomorrow…I hope?” Francesca then said, to which Richard sighed. It had to end there, for that night. It was the right thing. Both of them would have had to fight against solitude, sexual tension and desire until their next encounter. But it was for the best. Richard took Francesca’s head between his hands, and left a kiss on her forehead and on her nose.

“Tomorrow.”

Richard smiled one last time, and waited for the girl to get inside her flat. He stood there, for a few seconds. He just watched as the windows of the building lit up in the darkness of the cloudy and rainy night. He thought about those hours with Francesca, he thought about his decision to come to Italy for his days of break from the tour, he thought about Till’s advice…and all of his insecurities just went away as the sensation that his lips on her had caused in his heart and his soul. Everything, in that moment, was perfect as could be.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why? Because she’s young and has her whole life ahead?” Richard sarcastically said, raising his eyebrows at Till. Till rolled his eyes and sighed, taking back his newspaper from under Richard’s hands. 
> 
> “And you’re old and hopeless.” Till smiled.

The bar wasn’t quite busy at that moment. It was a lazy, regular summer morning in Florence. Sunglasses on, Till had his eyes fixed on his copy of the Berliner Zeitung, that he had managed to get from a newsstand not far from Virginia’s house. His fingers went down the lines of written text as with his other hand he brought his American coffee to his lips. Then, and finally, he saw Richard crossing the street on which the bar was, casually dressed in black shorts and a dark blue t-shirt. And flip flops.  


Till laughed at that relaxed image of his friend, and closed the Zeitung in front of him to wave at Richard. 

“Sorry I’m late.”

“You asked me to come to the bar in front of your hotel, and you arrived late.” Till laughed, as Richard sat down on the other side of the table. “I like this hippie, surfer style of yours. I like it better than your emo dad phase.” Richard smiled, and scratched the light scruff on his jaw. 

“I feel…I feel good today.” Richard replied, taking out a cigarette. “Honestly.” Till smirked. He knew all about it, because of Virginia. But he wanted to hear it from him. 

“That’s what I’ve heard.” Till said, finishing his coffee. “Now you’ve made the first step, have you thought about how you live miles away from her?” 

“Can I just live these few days in peace?” Richard said, the cigarette in his hand as he waved it in the air. “I had an intuition, and it was good. I don’t know what will happen. The only thing I know is that I want to see her again, and for as much time that is possible.” he let out a cloud of smoke, and waved at the waitress. 

“Just don’t give her an illusion.” Till replied. “Take it as slowly as you can. Just… don’t fuck this up.” Richard sighed. He knew that Till was worried. But he had to have some faith in him. He had a feeling, a positive, beautiful feeling. He actually couldn’t imagine how things could have continued with Francesca. He knew it wasn’t just a teenager summer crush, otherwise he wouldn’t have come all that way for her. He was sure he wanted to continue things with her…He really was. Still, he needed to talk about it with her. He didn’t know how, but that was what he really wanted. And he didn’t really want to spoil those days of bliss and ruin the time in her company by making her think about what she wanted to do with him and her life. All would have happened in due time, that was the only thing he was sure of. 

“Why? Because she’s young and has her whole life ahead?” Richard sarcastically said, raising his eyebrows at Till. Till rolled his eyes and sighed, taking back his newspaper from under Richard’s hands. 

“And you’re old and hopeless.” Till smiled. “I’m going to the Uffizi gallery, and then off to visit a few churches. Are you spending your day doing nothing again?”

“Probably. In your face, if I might say that.” Richard chuckled. “I’ll leave the museums to you today. I’ll think about…some way to surprise Francesca.” Richard really meant it. At the moment, the thought of those kisses with her just drove him crazy. He had felt an energy he had thought he had lost. He had felt alive, powerful, driven by lust. And now, he wanted her. All for himself. But not as a prize to win. This time he wanted her. Only her. He wanted to look into her light brown eyes and inspect the freckles on her nose and on her cheek as his lips devoured hers, and he wanted her hands to grip onto his back. The night before, all alone in his luxurious hotel room had been quite difficult. He just couldn’t take it anymore. And he knew she was feeling the same way. He knew it in his heart. 

“Take her out to dinner.”

“And that’s it? No.” Richard shook his head. “That would be too simple. I have something in mind by the way, but I won’t tell you.” Till raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms on his wide chest. 

“What a friend.” Till said, smiling. Richard smiled back at him and started tapping on the table with his slim fingers to a music only him could hear in his head.

“If it goes well, I’ll tell you.” Richard replied. “Trust me.” Till decided to let it go. Richard was a grown man after all. It was fun to see how he was truly mentally engaged with that younger girl. Till was only concerned that he wouldn’t get burned and depressed like all the times he had thought he had really found somebody who loved him for what he was. It was hard and painful to help him put back the pieces of his heart, every time. Maybe it was too soon to talk about ‘love’. Maybe not. Till decided to put aside his worries for the time being, just watching. Still, he was ready to intervene. 

“Okay.” Till raised his open hands in front of him, in a gesture of surrender. “Alles ist in deinen Händen.” 

“Danke, Till.” Richard slightly bowed his head. “It matters a lot.” 

The two men sat at the bar, in silence, for some more time. Richard with a smile never leaving his lips already thought of Francesca. He thought of what her face would have looked like on that day. He thought of the touch of her hands, and his heart jumped when he heard in his head the sound of her laugh. 

* * *

Francesca walked in the city center, earphones on as she passed by people and shops. She hummed to the John Mayer song that was playing in her ears, and adjusted the hems of the little black dress she was wearing, that gently moved with the breeze blowing in Florence. She wasn’t completely satisfied about her day though, for she hadn’t heard from Richard since the night before. She hadn’t even seen him at the Spa, and had asked multiple times about him to her colleagues by the pool, but they hadn’t seen him as well. He hadn’t even sent her a text during the whole day. She couldn’t wipe away from her head the unpleasant thought that what had happened the night before had been just a picture created from her mind. Maybe Richard had been busy being a tourist, maybe he had been all day in his hotel room. Still, Francesca tried not to lose her hopes in him. He was a good man, she knew that. And right when she turned the corner of the long road in front of the Arno river where her house was, she almost shouted at the dickhead that had bumped into her as she walked on the sideways. 

“HEY YOU-”

“Sorry.” Richard said, laughing. It was him, in flesh and bones, looking down at her. He was loving the red on her cheeks so much. She looked embarrassed and amused at the same time. And that was adorable. 

“I…I didn’t mean to offend you.” She replied, with a feeble voice. “I was too busy staring at my feet for noticing that it was…it was you.” Richard leant down, leaving a kiss on Francesca’s forehead, before printing his lips on hers for a long, wonderful second. Richard was wearing a black and red Kiss t-shirt, over a pair of tight jeans. His jaw looked perfectly smooth, and he was wearing the same mind blowing perfume he had on the night she had met him. After eight straight hours of work, he looked like a dream. He was, a dream. 

“Nevermind.” He replied. Then, he got something out of a paper bag he had at his feet. A huge bottle of champagne. Francesca smirked, and eyed him up for a moment. “Got you a present. I need you to forgive me for giving you the impression I…abandoned you, today.” Richard said. “I was just around with Till, finding a way to surprise you, you know?” He was apologizing for not being around for the whole day. That was what she wanted, and she thought that it had been quite sweet of him. How could she be mad at that man? 

“Well..thanks, I guess.” Francesca looked down at her feet for a moment, embarrassed but happy at the same time. She crossed her arms on her chest, and finally decided to ask him “the” question. 

“There’s… there’s a beautiful terrace on top of the building where I live. Would you like to spend the evening there?” She asked, shyly but convinced of what she was doing. Richard smiled at her, nodding. He had the most wonderful, gentle smile she had ever seen in a man. She looked for her keys, and opened the door; they took the elevator, and after a moment of silence they were opening the door that led to the terrace. The sun, setting in the purple, orange and pink sky was stunning. The river, that they could see from there, was shining with a million sparkles, and tourists still walked the bridges around. Francesca pointed at a bench that looked towards the river, a meter away from the edge of the terrace, that was circled by a solid railing. 

“After you.” Francesca said, smiling at Richard. Richard slightly bowed his head, and walked towards the bench. He then sat down, letting out a content sigh. He put his black sunglasses on, much to Francesca’s disappointment: every time he covered his blue eyes, something in her felt sad. 

Richard grabbed the bottle of champagne from the bag, and opened it. 

“We’ll need glasses.” He said, with a smile. Francesca took the bottle from his hands, and drank straight away from it. Richard licked his lips at the view of the drops of alcohol making a small, translucent trail from the corner of her mouth. 

“No. We don’t.” She replied, cleaning her mouth with a finger and then sucking the champagne from it. Richard couldn’t help but internally scream with painful lust at all her teasing. A lot of women had done that effect on him, for sure, but this time he was trying not to give in. He didn’t want it to end in a night. He wanted it to go on for as long that it was possible, to see how his heart and his whole being reacted to such a new way of dealing with a woman. He was feeling the same way as he had felt when he had met his first wife. He was feeling brave, anxious to see what came next. This time though, he had a long experience he had gained from years of being a single. He knew not to expect too much, but he also knew that the right thing was always to follow what his heart dictated. And his heart was telling him to hold onto her. 

“How was your day?” He asked. Francesca sighed and shrugged her shoulders. 

“Ups and downs.” She replied. “Rich assholes coming and going.” Richard chuckled and took a sip from the bottle of champagne. “Yours?”

“Been looking everywhere for the best shop to find an affordable, good bottle of original French champagne.” Francesca raised her eyebrows and stood up from the bench, sitting on its back and resting her feet next to Richard. 

“Thought you were a rich asshole too.” Richard smiled and passed her the bottle. 

“Not as rich as one might think.” He replied. 

“Hey, don’t think for one second that I like you for your money, or the fact that you’re a celebrity.” Francesca replied, in a serious tone. Richard turned around, and placed his elbow on the back of the bench, taking off his sunglasses. He rested his chin on his hand, and looked up at her. He enjoyed the sight of her dress gently moving with the wind, and taking courage in his hands he decided to brush his other hand on her leg. 

“What do you like me for, then?” 

Francesca’s skin vibrated under Richard’s touch. She had to take a moment and look down at his eyes to focus again on all the good things she liked about him. 

“I like your hair.” She started, shyly brushing the tip of her fingers on the end of his spiked up hair. “Your smile…well, that’s one of the things I think about the most, lately.” Richard chuckled at her compliment, and nodded. “I like how playful, and simple you are. What you see is what you get, and I love that in a man.” Richard was now caressing her leg, going up and down from her knee to her ankle. Francesca tried not to be distracted by him, and took a big gulp of champagne to give herself courage. “What else? Oh, yeah. Your stupid, beautiful, unbelievably gorgeous eyes. Not just because they’re beautiful, but because…they reflect you. I can see from them that you’re a good man.”

Richard listened to her words, getting lost in their sound and in her brown eyes. He looked at her hands moving in the air while she spoke, the light of the setting sun coloring her fair skin. He loved how honest she was being. 

“Wow.” Richard said. “Thank you.” He added, taking in his hand the bottle that she was handing him. He drank a long sip, loving the taste at the back of his mouth. 

“Don’t thank me. I meant it. Every word I said.” She smiled at him, blushing. Richard drank again, finishing the bottle. He stood up, slowly, as the alcohol went to his head. He took her face between his hands, standing in front of her, and kissed her. Not as hard as the first time, this time it was softer, but just as greedily. He loved how she pulled up her hand to hold onto his bicep. 

“Can you close your eyes for a while?” He asked her. Francesca raised her eyebrows, and smiled at him. 

“Do I have to trust you?”

“Yeah. Trust me, I swear…I won’t do anything…wrong.” he said, kissing her again. “Give in.” He whispered on her lips. Francesca smiled at him, kissing him quickly. She was loving how he was making her feel. She was in an expectating mood. And she decided to close her eyes and let him have his game. She felt Richard’s right hand travel all the way from her knee to the inside of her thigh, slowly, following an invisible line. She bit her lip so hard so she would not open her eyes. Richard kissed her again, on the corner of her lips, on her chin, all the way down to her neck. Richard felt like he was drinking from a sacred fountain, letting his lips taste her skin, as he went down to the middle of her chest. His hand was now almost between her legs, under her black dress. 

“If you want me to stop, I will stop.” He said to her, as his mouth came back to her cheeks and her lips. 

“Don’t.” She replied, enjoying every second of what he was making her feel. Richard chuckled, in a low and growling tone, that made her lose her mind. Richard felt like a fire rising up from his bowels, and going up to his heart. He was so stupidly happy in that moment, as she gave in to his fingers that went right behind her underwear, finally touching her sex. He kept kissing her on her neck, as he stimulated her with his hands, going up and down and finally penetrating her with two fingers. 

“I wasn’t…expecting that.” She said, in a moan, as she greedily kept on kissing him on his lips. Richard smiled at her, and intensified his moves, loving how she opened her mouth to breathe without even opening her eyes. 

“It’s just a little thank you, dear.” He replied. Because it was true. He didn’t want to go all the way in with her, not yet. But he still wanted to give her some kind of…relief. 

Francesca held onto his head, her hands diving into his hair, keeping him close to her. She wanted him so badly…and he was giving her pleasure right there on the terrace of the building where she lived. And she was loving it so much, that she couldn’t even hold on that long the orgasm that she was feeling coming. She held onto Richard, her hands keeping his mouth glued to hers, as he went on pleasuring her. It all felt so unreal…yet so vivid. It was a crazy, yet unexpectedly amazing situation. Richard was the most interesting, mature, genuinely good man she had ever met. And feeling how much he wanted her, how much he seemed to enjoy to make her feel so good. He was continuing to gently push his fingers in and outside of her, and she felt that wonderful, familiar tingling sensation coming.

“I…I think…you can stop now.” she whispered, regaining her breath back as she relaxed after the muscular contraction caused from the orgasm. Richard progressively stopped his movements, with a satisfied and sexy laugh. He kissed her on her nose and on her forehead, before sitting back on the bench as Francesca slowly did so. He looked at her, and loved to see her red cheeks and her chest going up and down with her breath. She was so beautiful…and she had trusted him. Night had just fallen on the city around them. Richard searched for his pack of cigarettes, taking one out with his lighter. He smiled as Francesca held out a hand, waiting for him to give her a cigarette. He lit it up for her, before giving it to her. He got lost in the shape of the smoke coming out from her lips, and he let his hand rest on her thigh as they sat and looked at the river and the city beyond it. 

“Maybe I should head home.” He said, after a while. Francesca shook her head slowly. 

“Tomorrow…I have a day off.” She replied. “And you’re too drunk to get back to your five star hotel room.” Richard chuckled, and gently squeezed her thigh. 

“Have you got a couch?”

“And a bed.”

“Is it large enough?” Richard asked, as Francesca stood up, smiling, and lent him a hand to do the same. She nodded as she dragged him behind her, going back inside the building. In silence, they arrived at her house. Richard had to help her push the key inside the lock, not without a laugh, seeing how she was so tipsy. 

“Thank…thank you.” she replied, once they were inside her house. It seemed little, but cozy. Richard followed her, feeling the alcohol get to him as well. He noticed the small, grey cat that was resting on the kitchen table, sleeping. It lift up his head, blinking slowly, before going back to sleep. “That’s…Maya. Maya, Richard. Richard, Maya.” Richard laughed at her introduction, and watched as Francesca went straight to her bedroom. She sat down on the edge of her bed, and laid down after a second, with a soft thud. 

“I can use the couch, if you want.” Richard asked. Francesca moaned something. 

“I will…leave you some space.” she patted on the bed next to her. “Come.” Richard decided to let her win. He sat on the bed, and laid down. It felt like heaven. And it felt like heaven to give in to the champagne getting to his head, and to the courage he had to take her hand in his, before closing his eyes. She let him hold her, and he loved how she gently squeezed back his fingers with her hand. “Good night, Reesh.”

“Good night, girl.”  


 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Richard stretched his arms, moaning. There was something warm and hairy next to his ribcage, that moved with regular breaths. Maya. He patted the cat's head, that answered with a lazy 'meow' sound. Then, his senses were caught by the smell of coffee that filled the air, and he decided to stand up. He adjusted his shirt, and yawned, before strolling out of the bedroom and back to the open space kitchen and living room. He quickly caught sight of Francesca. She was standing in front of the kitchen, attending to the moka that was on the fire, preparing coffee. Her short hair was wet on her head, and she was wearing a large Oakland Raiders Jersey, that covered her up to just above her knee. She was barefoot on the wooden floor, and turned her head just in time to see Richard. She smiled at him, as she saw him walking towards her, sitting at the stool in front of the kitchen counter.

"Morgen." Richard said.

"Morgen, Richard." She replied. "Coffee is almost ready." Richard nodded, leaning with his forearms on the counter.

"Did you wake up early?" Richard said, eyeing her up.

"Not too early."

"But you had time to..." he reflected, "Have a shower and...get out to buy these croissants." He added with a chuckle, loving the smell of butter from the fresh pastries he had just noticed, right next to the kitchen sink. Francesca smiled back, taking the moka away from the fire.

"I...had a sweet tooth." she admitted. "And I wanted to get you breakfast." Richard's heart skipped a beat. He loved the red on her cheeks, and the dimmed light that came in from the big window of the living room.

"Can I take a shower too?" he replied, jokingly smelling his armpits.

"Sure. I'll wait for you to have breakfast." She said to him. "But be quick. Or else I can't assure you that you will find your croissant still on the plate." Francesca put out her tongue at him, to which he chuckled. Richard then finally got in the bathroom, to take a quick shower. He got inside the walk in shower, and turned on the water. As he closed his eyes under the stream, he could remember every detail of the night before. He passed his fingers throug his dark hair, and felt the touch of her hands. As he washed himself, he desired with all of his being that her hand touched him again, running all over him.   
Richard got out of the shower, and grabbed the nearest towel. He wrapped it around his waist and looked at himself in the mirror. He felt so old, looking at his tired eyes. Yet, he thought about the young woman with wonderful curves waiting for him in the other room. He pushed back his short, wet hair on his head, and took a deep breath.

"I'm hun..." he heard Francesca say as he left the bathroom.

"You're...?"

"...gry." Francesca rushed to finish the word. "Hungry." Her breath had stuck in her throat as she had seen him. Half naked, with the towel around the bottom part of his body. She was so attracted by him...and she kept repeating to herself that he was surely too damn good looking for a man his age. She melted at the smile he had sent her as she had finished her sentence. Francesca felt her heartbeat louder as he got closer, sitting on the stool next to hers. In silence, she gave him a small plate with a croissant on it.

"Danke." He leant in, leaving a kiss on her cheek.

"Had to."

"You don't owe me anything." Richard chuckled, as he ate his pastry. He grabbed an empty mug in front of him, and filled it up with coffee. For a couple of minutes, they remained in silence. Both of them probably thinking about the right thing to say.

"I won't say anything about last night." Francesca said all of a sudden, causing Richard to lift up his gaze at her. "But I want to thank you. For not...taking advantage of a drunk, very drunk me." Richard smiled at her, swallowing the last bite of croissant. He took up the mug of coffee, and took a sip to wash it down. He placed a hand above hers, squeezing it a little.

"I would have never done that." he replied. "Still...if I can confess something to you, I admit that I'm finding it very hard not to...take off your shirt in this very moment." Richard opened his heart to her. He saw her trying to mantain a serious face, holding the smile that was creeping onto her lips. She eyed him up again, following the curve of his shoulders and of his biceps, leading down to the towel wrapped around his waist.

"You're just...playing with me."

"I swear, I am not." Richard took her face with his hands, caressing her with his thumb. "If I were playing with you, I wouldn't have gone all this way to see your face." He pulled her face closer to his, kissing her. The taste of sugar and coffee on her lips was intense.

"You drive me crazy, Reesh." she whispered. "I don't know for how much longer I can hold myself."

"Don't hold yourself." he smiled at her. "Please."

Francesca slid her finger between his pectorals, slowly. She then let her hand slide behind his neck. Richard's arm went around her waist, bringing her close. His sex, already hard, pushed against her from behind the towel. She kissed him again, greedily and with thirst. As his tongue slid in her mouth she had a shiver run down her body.   
Francesca then guided Richard out of the kitchen, pushing him towards the sofa, in the living room. Richard bit on her lips, gently, as he let her rule the action. He ran his hands down her body, enjoying every curve. He found himself against the sofa, and sat down without any opposition. Francesca straddled his laps above the towel, with a devilish and beautiful smile on her face. As she was on top of him, Richard pulled up her shirt, taking it off. As she kept on kissing him all over his face and his lips, Richard kissed her breast and brought his lips to her nipples, using his tongue to stimulate her. Her moans pushed him to lick her harder, his hands squeezing her breast lightly.

"Hold onto my neck." he whispered to her, looking up at her face. Obedient, she did as she was told. Richard stood up, pulling her up with him. As her legs wrapped around him, he couldn't hold himself anymore. He turned around, as he kept on kissing and kissing her, her taste filling his mouth. He let her down on the sofa, gently. Then he pulled down her underwear, a pair of turquoise panties. He leant down to kiss her under her breast, then all the way down to her belly and her sex. He felt her hands holding onto his hair, as his tongue ran over her clitoris. He let his towel down from his waist with his free hand, and then grabbed her from above her hips to bring her closer to him. Francesca brought her arms around his neck again, his muscles tense under her touch. Richard kissed her, and then took his sex in a hand, sliding it painfully slowly up and down between her legs.

"Please..." he heard her moan. Richard took her hint, and finally pushed himself inside her. He died a little at the whimper she let out as he was completely inside her. Yet, she nodded at him and left a kiss on his lips and on his cheeks, as a signal to go on.

"Gott.." Richard moaned, as he thrusted inside of her, always very kindly and without any rush. He was enjoying the feeling of her warmth around him, he was loving her blushing cheeks and her being out of breath. One of her hands slid down to his buttcheeks, grabbing it and pulling him towards her. He smirked and decided to speed up a little. Her moans increased, her breath driving him crazier by the minute. Richard then brought again his arms around her. He pulled her up, without getting out of her. His hands went down to her butt, as he turned and let her down on the kitchen table. He pulled out of her, much to her disappointment, but he immediately dove his mouth and his tongue inside of her. Richard pushed two fingers inside her, as he kept on licking her most sensible spot. He fingered her in and out, the tip of his tongue making shivers shake her body.

"Richard..what...what the fuck...how can you be so..so good, Jesus Christ..." Francesca pulled his hair with her hands, and Richard looked up at her with his magnetic blue eyes. He was loving every second of being in charge, he was loving the fact that she was completely in his hands. It didn't take long to her to reach the orgasm. As she shivered with pleasure with his fingers still inside her, he licked his lips to taste every drop of her. He pulled her from her hips again, bringing her on the edge of the table. Richard pulled up her right leg, his shoulder below it. Then he played with his sex again, brushing it against her. He leant down, kissing her.

"Again?" He whispered, with a voice full of pleasure and expectation. Francesca bit his lower lip, almost hurting him. Richard though, didn't mind some pain from time to time.

"Fuck yes."

Richard chuckled, and pushed himself against into her. The warm sensation inside of him grew bigger as he pushed in and out, this time faster. He went on for some more time, Francesca's whimpers of pleasure making him enjoy himself a lot. He felt his orgasm arrive shortly after. It crashed like a wave onto him, as he pulled out of her and came on the table, finally releasing himself.   
His shoulder was still holding up her leg, and as he watched her catch her breath, he let it down and pulled her up between his arms again. He loved to hear her soft laugh as he carried her back to the bedroom, letting her down on the mattress. In silence, he laid next to her, face up. Without a word, Francesca got hold of the pack of cigarettes on the night table on her right. She stood up, still naked, and went to open the window. The sunlight filled the room, as she grabbed the ashtray and went back to bed. Richard slid an arm around her shoulders as she lit up a cigarette, taking in a deep breath, before lending the cigarette to him. Richard took it between his index and thumb, and smoked. Francesca looked down him, with a smile, laying down next to him.

"Was?" he asked.

"You're so sexy when you smoke." she told him, as he caressed her naked hips with his hand. "You make me want to fuck you again." Richard chuckled, with the cigarette between his lips he got up and pinned her down to the bed.

"As you wish." 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am your chance."

“Come.”

  
“I can’t.”

  
“Maybe…you don’t want to. But I am sure that you could, if you wanted to.”

  
“Richard…”

  
“Take all the time you need.”

  
“As if you didn’t have a woman in every harbour…”

  
“I don’t.”

  
“Okay…I was kidding.”

  
“I am not kidding when I say I want you to come.”

  
“But how?”

  
“You see the city. You spend some time there, with me. You said you wanted to move, right?”

  
“I wanted to move if I had the chance…”

  
“I am your chance.”

  
“…”

  
“Think about it. Promise me.”

  
“I…”

  
“Please.”

  
“…I promise.”

 

* * *

 

  
The air was filled with the loud sound of the guitars. Richard sat on the amplifier, a big Marshall. His fingers moved quickly on the guitar, going up and down on an improvised solo. A cigarette lazily hanged out from his mouth, as his head moved with the rhythm.  He was not alone though. Schneider, the drummer, already sat at his spot, behind the drums. He had an open book between his hands, a novel. He wasn’t paying that much attention to Richard, and peacefully kept on reading even when the door opened, and Paul and Oliver entered the room. The small guitar player and the tall bassist both waved a hand at their bandmates. Schneider answered with a nod and a smile, while Richard didn’t seem to notice them. Paul had to walk up to him and jokingly brush a finger on the strings of the guitar, to make Richard stop playing. Richard’s head lift up, to look at Paul rolling his eyes.

  
“Paulchen.”

  
“Italy?”

  
“What?” Richard replied with an embarrassed smile, taking the cigarette from his mouth. “Nothing new.”

Paul sighed, and scruffled up Richard’s hair.  In the meantime, Till and Flake went through the door or the rehearsal room. Till took off his sunglasses, pushing them back on his hair. Flake went to his place, next to the drums. Schneider smiled at him, and shook his hand. Oliver played one of the pieces of the drums with his long fingers, before attending to his amplifier.

  
“Traffic was crazy.” Flake said, starting to turn on all of his equipment. “And I had to finish unpacking.” Till chuckled, and went close to Richard. He gave him a pat on the back, and Richard forced himself to smile at him. Till immediately noticed his five o’ clock beard, and his tired eyes. He could say he hadn’t slept that much. Till knew Richard from so many years, he didn’t need him to speak to know what he was thinking.

  
“I have come up with some riffs last night.”

  
“I could have imagined that.” Till replied. “But try to rest.” he added, with a whisper.

Richard knew that his friend and bandmate could understand him.  It had been a few days since he had heard from Francesca. Two weeks since the last time he had seen her. Almost three weeks since the first time he had made love with her. It had been difficult for him to go back on tour for the last dates around the world, even if coming back home to Berlin had made him feel a little bit better. Yet, his empty, single man loft in the city hadn’t made him feel that happy as he was every time he came back to Germany. He didn’t know what to do, and he didn’t know how to feel. After all, he had asked Francesca quite a big thing. He had asked her to leave her life and give him a chance. And that wasn’t an easy decision to take.

  
“Let’s play something.” Paul suggested. “To keep our minds off things. Personal matters and broken hearts…out the door.” Richard smiled at Paul. He was a good friend, one of the best he had. He knew anything about Francesca, and he knew how Richard was feeling.

He also knew how to make things less dramatic. They finished setting up their instruments and began playing.  Richard’s head cleared, very quickly. He thought about the music, about the heavy riffs coming out his and Paul’s amplifier, like lightning crashing down from a cloud full of rain. It was so good to get back in the studio, composing, new songs, new vibes…just to hear Till’s grave voice and Flake’s keyboards and synths made him feel better.  They played for two to three hours. Undisturbed, free, without boundaries. Richard thought it had been a success, even the fact that he hadn’t felt the need to go out to smoke during that time.

  
“Who’s hungry?” Oliver said after they had finished rehearsing, as he put his bass back in its case.

  
“Alle.” Till replied, lifting a hand up in the air. Paul smiled, and did the same.

  
“Prater?” Schneider suggested. The others nodded in agreement. Richard didn’t mind a beer at the moment, and he had to admit he was getting hungry as well. The silence of the now quiet room was interrupted by the sound of a vibrating phone. All of them tried to find out where that came from, and Flake discovered it first.

  
“It comes from your guitar case, Zven.” Flake said. Richard crouched and opened up the case, where his phone had just stopped vibrating.

  
“Stupid me.” Richard said, taking the phone in his hands. “I put it there so it doesn’t disturb me when I'm playing, but…” he smiled at the name of the last caller. Francesca. Yet, he gasped at the number of missed calls. Fifteen. The others looked at him, curious.

  
“Fifteen missed calls.”

  
“Quite the botherer…” Paul joked. Till elbowed him, to make him shut up.

  
“Maybe something happened?” Schneider said. He was getting curious, he couldn’t avoid it. Richard was immediately calling her back. He nervously bit his lip, walking up and down in the room. The phone beeped regularly, setting the rhythm of his heartbeat. Maybe it was nothing to worry about. Maybe he had forgotten to let her know he was rehearsing. Maybe…

  
“Richard!”

  
“Hey.” Richard replied. Her voice…God, her voice. “Is…everything okay? I’m so sorry, I couldn’t hear my phone.” The girl on the other side of the call sighed.

  
“It’s…all good, actually. I managed on my own.”

  
“Manage what?” he asked her, his brows furrowed.

  
“To get here on my own. Trains were useful and easy to…”

  
“Wait. Here where?”

  
“Here. In Berlin.”

  
Richard’s eyes widened. He looked at Till, he looked at Paul, and at all the others. He could feel his own heartbeat in his ears.

  
“Reesh?…You still there?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought I lost you.”

“Reesh?”

“Ja…Ja! I’m still here.” Richard replied, the voice finally coming out of his throat. “Where are you?”

“Friedrichshain. I’m about to eat something at the train station before heading to the hotel. Sorry for…not telling you. It was supposed to be a…you know, a sort of surprise.”

“Surprise?” Richard said, a hand nervously passing through his hair. “Yeah…it’s a surprise, I must admit that.” Till had come closer to him, trying to listen to the phone call. He looked at Richard, and mouthed something: ‘do not let her stay in a hotel’.   
“But…hey, I do not want you to stay at the hotel. I’ll come pick you up, and…” Paul made the gesture of eating. “…we’ll have dinner. Together.”

“Richard, you don’t have to. The hotel is fine.”

“No, it’s not.” Richard continued. “Stay…stay where you are. Don’t move. I will…I am…Gott.”

“Reesh…are you alright?” 

“I am. I’m…I’ll see you in twenty minutes.” Richard replied, almost in a rush to end the call. 

“Okay. Bye.”

Richard finished the call, and found himself stared at by five pairs of eyes. Paul shook his head, Till sighed. 

“You’re adorable.” Schneider said, with a smile. Oliver nodded in agreement.

“You were supposed to sound fucking happy, you know?” Till said, his big frame with crossed arms on his chest. 

“I am happy!” Richard said, raising his voice a little. “But I wasn’t fucking expecting her!” 

“You asked her to come to Berlin!” Paul replied. “And the least you could have said to her was that you were glad that she came!” Richard threw his head back and inhaled deeply. 

“I know…I KNOW!” Richard replied, in a mixture of anger and genuine fear. “I just…I’m going to pick her up.” Richard rushed to find the keys to his car in the pockets of his jacket, his hands almost trembling. “Please, don’t leave me alone tonight.”

“What do you mean?” Till asked.

“For dinner…let’s meet, together.” Richard said. “It’s not that I don’t want to be alone with her, but…”

“Okay, Reesh.” Paul said, interrupting him. “Prater, like we said.” Richard smiled feebly at his friend. Paul could understand his fear. And it was just right to be by his side in that moment. “Now go.” He jokingly pushed Richard towards the door. Richard was feeling all sort of emotion as he rushed outside, going out the building in the chilly air of the Berlin fall. Butterflies crowded his stomach, and he was feeling lightheaded. He was happy, and scared, and maybe not ready enough for such a thing as love. He got in his black BMW SUV, and took a deep breath, diving himself into the evening traffic. Richard lit up a cigarette, and took it between his lips. His fingers tapped on the wheel, rhythmically. Yet, he didn’t even turn on the radio, and just opened the car’s windows, to listen to the traffic.   
He drove for a while, in silence, trying to clear his mind.   
Richard’s head though, couldn’t think about anything that wasn’t Francesca’s face. Her skin, her hair, every freckle on her nose. The words he had said to her, “come”. And now, he was shaking like a little kid afraid on the first day of school.

  
Friedrichshain’s train station came sooner than he thought. He arrived in the crowded area of the station, where tourists and citizens buzzed like crazy. It wasn’t so easy to find a parking spot. Yet, he managed to get to the side of the street, and turned off the car. Richard looked at himself in the rearview mirror. He wasn’t surely in his top shape. He adjusted his hair, and looked at himself in his blue eyes with a sigh, before taking out his smartphone. He tapped on the screen, his thumb finger with the black nail polish crossed by a shiver. The telephone rang, and he looked outside the car. He got out, as the telephone kept on ringing. In the distance, next to the station’s entrance, his eyes spotted a familiar frame. A small girl, with a blonde, short haircut. He started walking towards her, as he saw her pick up the call. She was wearing a leather jacket, and a pair of black skinny jeans, over a pair of black boots. Next to her, her suitcase. She looked so simple, so tired, yet the smile that lit up on her face as she answered him made his heart flutter. Again.

“Look up.” Richard said on the phone, as he was now a couple of metres away from her. Francesca lifted her face up. She widened a huge smile at him, and opened her arms. She waited for him to get closer, to throw her arms around his neck as she tiptoed. Richard let his arms slip around her waist, pulling her close. She buried her face between his neck and his shoulder. 

“I thought I lost you.” She whispered, after leaving a long and sweet kiss on his face. Richard felt the words stuck in his throat. He couldn’t speak. The only thing he felt like doing was to hold her. He then let her go, to leave a kiss on her forehead. He smiled at her, caressing her cheek. God..had he missed her. Yet, he could not express how much. 

“Komm mit mir.” he added then, an arm slipping around her shoulders after taking her suitcase, carrying it for her. Francesca let herself sink into that warm and homely sensation that seeing Richard had caused in her. She accepted his silence, and just enjoyed being by his side once again. The time for talking would have come later. Or at least, that was what she hoped for.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Forgive me for saying this, I shouldn’t be nosing in your business.” He apologised. “But if you bear with me one second I’ll make this evening less unpleasant to you.”

Richard looked at the crowded streets in front of them. All while Francesca looked out of her window, humming to the song on the radio. Then, from time to time, she looked at Richard. She studied his features, almost as if she wanted to make sure that it was really him. Maybe he looked skinnier. Or maybe it was just her impression. She hadn’t seen him for quite a while, and she had to admit to herself that she had, in fact, missed having him around. This time she was in ‘his territory’. And it was actually exciting for her to see all these new streets, these new buildings and people. All while being around him. 

“Can I..can I ask you something?” Richard interrupted her thoughts, and she looked at him. 

“Of course.”

“We were thinking of having dinner at a…nice, laid back place.” He started, biting on his lower lip. “With some guys from the band, Till and Paul. Do you…you want to come?” Francesca smiled at him, and nodded. She couldn’t lie to herself and admit she did not want to spend the evening with him. Alone. But yet, it would have been a nice dive into his world. 

“Whatever you want.” she replied. Richard sighed, relieved. His hands kept on tapping on the wheel. He was actually trying to distract himself. If she could only get inside his head, and see the chaos mixed to happiness that went around his thoughts. Every glance he had of her made his heart flutter. 

“So…what are your plans? What about tomorrow?” Richard asked, as he kept on driving and he turned into a pretty busy street.

“Realize that I actually am in Berlin.” Francesca joked, playing with a tuft of her pixie. “I will also try to find a job.”

“Remember that you can stay at my place.” Richard said, almost immediately. “You’re my guest, and I want you to stay as much as you want.” He repeated that to himself, almost as if he wanted to convince himself of that. Slowly but surely, he was realizing that she was there. In flesh and bones. 

“Thanks, Richard.” She said, placing a hand on his thigh as he drove. She could swear he had felt him tremble for a second. “I don’t want to be a bother though. I will find my own place, as soon as I can.” Richard smiled at her, nervously. He desperately tried not to show her that he was very nervous. He wanted to keep calm and collected, to make her see that he was a man, and not a boy that was afraid of things getting too real. He bit on his lower lip, and turned the volume of the radio up a bit.

“Ooh, I love this song.” Richard commented, as Alles so einfach by The Ärzte played. “Wenn das mal alles so einfach wär…” he sang along, his clear and musical voice coming out. Francesca laughed, and took another long look at him. She was asking herself a lot of questions, for example how his friends would have reacted when meeting her. She also asked herself if it had been really worth it, to leave her job in Italy out of the blue and come to Berlin. Maybe, Richard was right? Maybe, he really was her chance to go on and make a living for herself in a foreign country? Maybe, she was just disillusional, maybe she shouldn’t have fallen for a pair of magnetic blue eyes and a smile that could make love itself fall for him. Maybe she shouldn’t have thought about the dimples near to his mouth that appeared every time he laughed. Maybe she shouldn’t have fallen for how mature he was, for how he had shown that he didn’t want to play with her, for his foreign accent, for his…everything. There were a lot of 'maybes’ in her brain, and by the time she had went over all of them Richard was parking his SUV. 

They were in Prenzlauer Berg, a lively neighbourhood in the heart of the German capital city. Murals, a lot of tourists and youngsters going out and about, crowding the sidewalks. Richard really felt like he didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, and had put the hood of his jacket on. He walked next to Francesca, his hand timid as he placed it in the middle of her back.

“You’re such a diva.” Francesca confessed to him. “I love it.” she whispered to his ear, as she slid her arm around his waist and left a kiss on his cheek. Richard felt his face burning, and kept on walking until the entrance of the place they had chosen for dinner. 

It was a very laid back Biergarten, with long wooden tables like the ones you could find at food festivals. There were benches around them, and beautiful trees that were scattered here and there. Francesca loved the lights that were hanging from the trees, all over the place and over their heads, and let herself be amazed at the warm lights and at the lovely atmosphere created by the people chatting. They walked amomg the tables, until Richard saw a small guy waving at him at the end of the garden, near the small cabin that sold food and beer. With every step, Francesca felt like smiling like an idiot. 

“What’s up with the hood?” the small guy asked as Richard sat down and Francesca sat next to her. Richard pulled the hood down, revealing his head with a snort. 

“Privacy.” Richard looked at Francesca, and winked at her. “Paul, das ist-”

“Francesca.” Paul said, holding out his hand to shake Francesca’s. He widened a huge and warm smile at her, to which Francesca replied, with a little surprise on her face. “It’s nice to meet you in person, after hearing all about you.”

“Really?” the girl asked Richard. “I never imagined that someone could talk about me.” Richard smiled, slightly embarrassed. If there was someone that knew all about her was Paul. And he really knew everything about her. In the mean time, carrying two beers with each hand, Till Lindemann had approached the table. Without even letting them down, he leant down to leave a gentle kiss on the top of Francesca’s head. The girl was happy to see him again. He was a familiar face after all. 

“First, a kiss.” Till said, putting the tall glasses of golden beer on the table. After he had done that, he embraced Francesca with his long arms, making her seem even smaller than he was. “Then, a hug. Welcome, tiny girl. How are you?” Richard, somehow, hated how natural Till had acted towards Francesca. He couldn’t have done it, and he had yet to explain to himself why. 

“Good, big man.” Francesca replied, as Paul chuckled. “It’s good to see you, you haven’t aged a single day.” Till tipped an invisible hat on his head, and smiled. 

“Flatterer.” Till replied, offering her a glass. “How about you, princess of darkness?” Till then said to Richard, his eyebrows flicking up, as he slid his long fingers around the beer and brought it to his lips. Francesca smiled, in such a tender way that Richard couldn’t help but not feel thankful for Till’s stupid comment. Paul watched, definitely amused. 

“Ignore him.” Richard commented, leaning closer to the girl. “He’ll stop, eventually.” Till winked at Richard, who rolled his eyes. 

“Hope you like Lager.” Paul said to Francesca. “You got to go easy on beer at first, in Berlin.” The girl took a sip, and put her thumb up to signal that she loved it. Paul smiled back at her, as she clinged her glass with his. 

“I’m more of a beer girl, than of a wine or cocktail type.” Francesca admitted. “Guess I’m a German at heart.” Richard chuckled at that sentence, as the alcoholic drink started to make him feel a tad bit less nervous. He loved how she tried to go past her shy temperance, just to be with his friends. She was being adorable, and kind, and funny. And he was feeling all fuzzy inside once again. 

“Have you visited Richard’s place yet?” Paul asked. The girl shook her head. 

“Not yet.” Richard answered for her, as he took out the pack of cigarettes. He hadn’t had a single one since collecting Francesca, and he was feeling a horrible withdrawal. 

“Don’t be scared at the…how do we call it? Single-ness of it.” Paul continued, with a soft smile. Francesca with a grin on her lips, observed as Richard took out the cigarette and brought it to his lips. She had missed seeing that gesture of his. Till had his head on his hand, his elbow resting on the table. His big green eyes went from Richard to Francesca, studying them. The mechanical poetry of lovers, that was how he called it. And man, were these two really infatuated with each other. Yet, he could see how Richard wasn’t being entirely himself. 

“Once again, not everything these guys say is true.” Richard replied, puffing out a cloud of smoke from his lips. 

“I’ll find out for myself, thank you, Reesh.” Francesca brought the pint of beer to her mouth, letting a big gulp down. It seemed like Richard was trying to defend himself, building a wall, while the guys were literally willing to make her become more acquainted with his - and their, - world. 

“The others say that they’re sorry for tonight, but you’ll meet them very soon.” Till said, after he had spent a few minutes in silence. “Maybe I’ll set something up at my house in the country.” 

“You have a house in the country?” Francesca asked, interested. “Wow. Don’t you prefer the big metropolis?” Till shook his head, so did Paul. Almost at the same time, they pointed both at Richard. 

“He’s the city type.” Till replied. “I like to be away from it all, when I can.” Francesca nodded in agreement. It was the first time for her in such a huge city as well. She looked at Richard, hoping that he would be a sort of guide to her in that crazy, fast environment. Richard nodded slowly, in agreement. The city was his kingdom. 

“I’m getting something to eat.” Francesca proposed, standing up from the bench. “Do you guys want something? Richard?” Richard thought about it for a second, and then finished what was left of his beer in a gulp. 

“Something else to drink.” He replied, to which Francesca smiled, almost resignated. 

“I’ll get something for me and Till, too. Come, I’ll help you.” Paul stood up, making Francesca feel very grateful for that initiative. Till looked at Richard for a very long minute. He was hating his behaviour at the moment.

Francesca and Paul took the few steps towards the wooden cabin that sold food and beverages. She looked at the menu, and opted for an oven baked potato. Paul made the order for both of them, and insisted on paying. After almost ending up in a fight with him, she decided to give in to his chivalry. There was a moment of silence in which Francesca just enjoyed the sight of the cooks inside the cabin preparing their meal. The noise of the sausages on the grill and their smell made her forget about everything else for a few seconds, until Paul started talking again, almost abruptly.

“Forgive me for saying this, I shouldn’t be nosing in your business.” He apologised. “But if you bear with me one second I’ll make this evening less unpleasant to you.” The girl furrowed her brows, and crossed her arms. 

“Alright.” 

“You see, he’s not entirely himself at the moment.” He hinted at Richard with his head, their table far enough so that him and Till couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

“I noticed that.” Francesca sighed. 

“He’s just…afraid.” Paul continued, his finger playing with his earring. “You broke into his life, and he didn’t expect that. And I’m not saying that in a negative way.” The girl listened, carefully. 

“I just hoped he would welcome me…in a warmer way. Do you know what I mean?” She replied, as Paul smiled at her. He was a reassuring presence, and despite not knowing him he had already proven to be a nice guy to have around. 

“As I told you, he’s afraid. And nervous.” 

“What do you suggest?” Francesca replied, as she glanced at Richard. He was lighting up another cigarette, and in that moment he looked particularly adorable as Till had made a joke, and the two men had started laughing. There they were again: butterflies.

“Give him time.” Paul said. “He cares about you, more than he’s showing at the moment. I’m sure he’ll reward you with his best self in some time.” She heard his words, and realized that maybe he was right. She had to ease into Richard’s life slowly, giving him time to adjust himself to the situation. “And by the way, he’s…fallen head over heels for you. I really hope you know that. He doesn’t want to blow this up, that’s why he might seem an asshole tonight.” He added, making all of Francesca’s tension disappear in a moment. In love. Richard could be, or so it seemed, in love with her. She didn’t expect that, she actually didn’t know what to say or think, even. She took the plate the cook was lending her, and looked at Paul with a stupid, happy expression on her round face. 

“And I…I hope you’re right.” She answered to him. “Otherwise, I’d have wasted money, time and…most of all, feelings.” Paul chuckled, and as he took his order he gently rubbed a hand on her upper back. 

“He’s a tough one to be around. But…when he gives, he gives his whole being.” Paul said, as they started walking back towards the table. “Have faith for me. Will you?” 

“I will.” She said. Paul winked at her, and she felt incredibly thankful for the chat she had just had with him. As they sat back down on the benches, Richard had a puzzled, curious look on his tired face. 

“What’s up?” He asked her. She adjusted the bangs of hair on her blonde head, and shook her head. 

“Niente.” She said. “Guten Appetit, I guess?” She nervously added, shrugging her shoulders and passing him the other beer he had ordered. 

* * *

Richard opened the door to his apartment, and entered first. He had drunk at least three beers, and despite being used to drinking he couldn’t help but feel a bit tipsy. Francesca got inside, dragging her carry on suitcase. She looked around, following Richard. 

It was a beautiful, scandinavian style loft. Her boots walked on a wooden floor, and what caught her sight the most were the huge windows that faced the balcony. There was a modern steel kitchen on the left side of the room, with an island and a couple of designer stools in front of it. There was a long raw wood table in the center of the space, on which books and vinyls rested. She noticed the enormous amplifier that rested against the wall made of visible walls, and a guitar rack that comprehended guitars of all shapes and sizes. Not far from the window were two armchairs, and a long sofa made of grey fabric, in front of a high-tech fireplace. On the wall above it, was a flat tv-screen.The light that Richard had flicked on was warm, and it gave the place a homely feeling. 

She watched as he took off his coat, and left it on a chair. He opened his arms, almost as if he wanted to show the place off. 

“I guess this is it. Mi casa es tu casa.” He said, visibly trying not to look too drunk. “Come, I’ll show you to your room.” Francesca got annoyed by that word. ‘Your room’. But then again, maybe it was the right thing. It was not like she had moved to Berlin to start living together with him. She followed it as they turned around the kitchen and went through a corridor. He turned the lights on in a room in which there was a large double bed, in that same minimalist style of the rest of the house. The wall behind the bed was dark grey, and on it rested a few photographs in large frames. There was a big square window and under it was a chest of drawers. It wasn’t bad, and it was almost as big as the entire living room of her house in Florence.

“Thanks for having me.” Francesca said, getting her suitcase in the room, and looking around. “I owe you.” Richard shook his head, nervous. 

“Don’t even say that.” He replied, with a smile. “Let me give you some towels. I bet you’d like a shower.” 

“I’ll just go to bed, actually.” Francesca said, taking off her leather jacket. 

“Ugh. Yeah, of course. But, maybe you want to take a shower tomorrow morning.” He said, as he opened the wardrobe in the room and took out a few towels. He tried to place them orderly on the bed, and almost tripped as he did that. Francesca fought to keep a laugh in. 

“Thank you, again.” she replied. Richard nodded at her and then, before walking out of the door, he stopped. 

“Gute Nacht.” he timidly left a kiss on her cheek, shyly looked down at his feet and left her alone. Francesca stood there for a good minute, pondering. She sat down on the bed, and brought her carry on closer to her feet. She reflected upon her decisions, about the weird day and the weird feelings she was having in that moment. Anger, dismay, fear. She almost felt her eyes watering. Yet, she brought herself back to reality and decided to lay down and get some rest. 

* * *

A pressing headache woke Richard up from his slumber. With some difficulties he managed to sit on the edge of his bed, and stood up. His bare feet on the wooden floor as in between the pain in his head he grabbed a sweatshirt and got out of his room. His stomach was a little twisted, and he wanted to get some air. He looked at the time on his smartphone, and hissed at it. It was about four in the morning. 

Wearing nothing but his boxers and a plain black shirt over which he had the sweatshirt, he walked back to the kitchen. It took him a while to notice that Francesca was sitting on an armchair, facing the glass wall that opened to the balcony. Her legs were crossed, a cigarette resting between her fingers, and she had slightly opened the window. There wasn’t any breeze coming in, but there sure was some fresh air getting inside the loft. She seemed to be focused on the skyline of Berlin over which the apartment looked from the balcony. And she didn’t hear Richard approaching her. Or did she? 

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, his eyes still almost completely squeezed because of how tired he was. Francesca let out a puff of smoke, and shook her head. “Me neither.” He went to grab a chair from near the table, and brought it next to her. He had to admit to himself that he was astonished at the sight of the city he loved so dearly at that time of the night. He had lived it, but he had to give in to his peaceful ambience. Francesca lent him the cigarette, which Richard gladly took. He brought his thumb and his index to his mouth, and inhaled. His eyes inspected her figure. Her legs were fleshy, soft and inviting. Her entire figure gave him a sense of peace. She was wearing a tank top with the Motörhead logo on it, and the tattoo she had from just above her chest was showing. It was a spiral wave of water, that arrived right on her shoulder. It was made in relaxing shades of blue, and it felt very realistic. He passed the cigarette back to her, and adjusted himself on the chair. 

“Aren’t you cold? If I’m correct you’re quite sensitive to it.” Richard spoke hopeful, trying to initiate the conversation. Francesca shrugged her shoulders. 

“No.” she said. Just that glacial monosyllable. Richard sighed, and stood up; he walked up to the sofa, grabbing the wool blanket that was resting on its edge. He went back to her, and placed it on Francesca’s shoulders. She didn’t expect it, and flinched a little as she had felt the warm fabric on her body. It was a good sensation, that was sure. Richard sat down again, crossing his arms and looking out. It was still dark, with tiny dots of light scattered on the panorama of the city. The girl inhaled one last time from the cigarette, before turning it off in an ashtray that she had found on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Throwing the blanket around her body, she stood up from the armchair. Richard watched her moves, in silence. He held it in, until she finally decided to open her mouth to speak. 

“Good night again.” 

“No, that’s not a good night.” Richard replied. He stood up, and looked directly into her eyes. His headache was driving him crazy. “Listen, I know. I know…I know I’ve been an idiot the whole time.” Richard spoke, not being able to hold his thoughts inside anymore. “I’m hurt, my brain is exploding, and I still feel sick because of all the beer I drank in the hope of making things easier, but…yeah.” He said again, as Francesca had stopped on the way to her room, listening. “What I’m trying to say is that if you want to give me a taste of my own medicine, I cannot blame you.” 

He got closer to her, just a few steps separating them. As they were both barefoot, he was about ten centimeters taller than she was. Francesca looked up at him, keeping the blanket tight to her shoulders. 

“It’s…it’s just that you’re here. You’re…really here, for God’s sake.” Richard felt a spontaneous smile climb onto his lips as he spoke and said those words. He gesticulated so much, he ended up nervously fiddling with the hair on the back of his head. “You took your chance, you…came here. And there’s a part of me that is insanely happy at the thought that you might have decided to come here because of me.” 

He explained, Francesca breathing very calmly as she lent her ears to him. 

“The other part though, is insanely scared that you might have come here because of me.” Richard was feeling very nervous, like a school kid reciting his love confession to his first crush. “I need you to…to have a little bit of patience with me. I will realize it, I will accept and love the fact that maybe you came here because of me. I’m an old, bitter, delusional man that is too afraid to act like a real man and give you what you deserve.” Francesca could feel all of his words get straight to her tired heart. She was trying to keep herself together, without bursting into tears. It was very difficult to be a grown up woman, and not a protagonist of a corny love story. “So I’m sorry, again and again. I truly hope you will…give me another chance to prove I’m not the asshole a lot of people think I am.” He let his arms down, finally, and felt it very relieving. He had said it all, everything he held inside. “I’m…I’m going to bed. If you want to, you can…you can join me there. If not, good night anyways.” 

Richard took a shy step towards her, and leant in to leave a long, long wanted kiss on her cheek. With a defeated expression, he went to his room without looking back. He got back into bed, turning on one side. He sighed, and finally closed his eyes in the darkness. He felt drained, actually. Drained of all the emotions and the forces he had. It didn’t take long before he heard muffled and insecure steps on the wooden floor. He felt the covers behind him moving, and smiled to himself as he felt Francesca’s arm slide on him, to rest on his stomach. 

“Take all the time you need.” she said. Her voice soft to his ear. He placed a hand on hers, and interlaced his fingers with hers. 

“Thank you. I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

“Shh. I’ve missed you, you chatty old man.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I said that I’m really, really happy that you’re here, would that be cheesy or ridiculous to you?”

Francesca turned one last time on the bed, before letting a sigh out. It was useless staying in bed, seeing as she didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. She opened her eyes, and noticed that she was alone; Richard wasn’t next to her anymore. She sat down on the edge of the bed, massaging her face from the cheeks and upwards, before standing up and going to the en-suite bathroom. 

  


She washed her face and grabbed the towel nearby, before directing herself to the living room and kitchen area. Everything was quiet, except from the traffic noises coming from down the street. There was a lot of light in the apartment, coming from the giant windows near the balcony, and the day didn’t seem to be that gloomy. The girl walked up to the table, where there were a few items lined up for breakfast: cereals, a pack of bagels, milk and a small bowl of fruit. She couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Richard had left everything for her. Looking with more attention, she saw a handwritten note under the milk bottle: ‘Woke up early for rehearsals. Call you later to set up some lunch. Küssen, R’.

 

Without asking herself too many questions, she sat down at the table and grabbed an apple and a bagel. After a bite at the apple, she heard her iPhone ringing. It was somewhere in her purse, and she figured it could be on the sofa, where she had left it the night before. She hurried and dove her hands inside the bag, until she heard the smartphone vibrate against her fingers. She furrowed her brows at the caller ID, and slid the finger on the screen for the upcoming video call. 

 

“I was expecting your call sooner, what happened to you?” Francesca said with a smirk, as her friend Virginia’s slim face appeared. The girl on the other end of the call laughed back. 

 

“I just wanted to you give you some time off my constant worries about you leaving for Germany, that’s it.” Virginia replied. “How are you? Haven’t heard from you after last night.” Francesca took the phone with her back to the table, and sat down again. 

 

“Don’t pretend you haven’t heard it from Till first.” Francesca said, knowing her means. 

 

“Of course, I got to have an agent on the field to keep an eye on you.” Virginia justified herself. “But with Richard, how did it go?” Francesca sighed, and shrugged her shoulders. Then, she let herself go to a peaceful smile. After all, things hadn’t started out that bad. 

 

“We talked.”

 

“And that’s good.” Virginia stated. 

 

“Yep. We’re going…to take things slowly.” Francesca said, as her eyes scouted the guitars leaning against the wall. “The slower the better, actually.” 

 

“How about the interview? You have it…tomorrow, right?” Virginia said. Francesca hadn’t left Italy without having at least one job interview already set up. She wanted to have a starting point, something to begin with. That’s why she had talked with the human resources of her previous employee, asking if there were any chances to arrange something in Berlin. It was just her luck that a couple of positions were still vacant, and she had the chance to do an interview for them. 

 

“Yes, tomorrow at this hour I’ll be either unemployed or employed.” Francesca joked. 

 

“Does Richard know about the interview?” Virginia asked. Somehow, she knew her friend too well, and therefore she already knew the answer. Francesca avoided her eyes for a second. 

 

“He doesn’t need to know.” Francesca said. “It’s my business, after all. I really don’t want to put too much pressure on him.” Virginia shook her head in disagreement. 

 

“Telling him that you have a job interview in Berlin doesn’t mean that you want to marry him or have his kids.” Virginia replied. “If that’s what you’re afraid of.” Francesca took another few bites at the apple, and momentarily leant her head down on the table as her hand still held onto the phone. 

 

“That’s precisely what I’m afraid of.” Francesca mumbled. “I just want to get the job, deal with burocracy and find my own place. It’s not like I don’t like staying at Richard’s, but-“

 

“But you don’t want to put too much pressure on him.” Virginia repeated her words. “I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want you to leave.” 

 

“I know, I know.” Francesca replied, her head now resting on her other free hand. “But hey, it’s my first day here. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up hating each other’s guts.” Virginia chuckled. 

 

“Yeah, right.” Virginia said. “I gotta go to work now. Stay out of trouble and give a hug to Till and Richard when you see them.” Francesca nodded, and smiled back at her friend. 

 

“Will do.” Francesca blew a kiss at the iPhone’s screen, before closing the call. She let down the smartphone for a moment before finishing her breakfast, as her mind went back to the discussion she had had with Richard the night before. Actually, it had been more of a monologue than a discussion. Yet, it had made a few things clear. Richard had literally opened his heart to her, and that had truly relieved her. The imperative, now, would have been to go slow, just as she had told her friend Virginia. 

 

* * *

 

After a couple of hours she was in the Kurfurstendamm, a very large and long street in the very heart of Berlin, not too far from Richard’s loft. There was a cold sun shining above everyone’s heads, and the traffic was buzzing. Tourists and citizens of all ages walked down the sideways, just like Francesca. In a long black coat to shield her from the wind, she looked at the windows of the various shops, with a cup of hot coffee and milk in her hands. Her eyes were looking at very pretty black and white lace dress, when she heard the phone ringing. It was Richard. 

 

“Hi, Richard."

 

“Hallo lady."

 

“Hey. How are you?” she replied, enjoying his accent on the other side of the phone call. 

 

“Good, on a break from playing. My wrist hurts, but it’s good to play this much. Did you read my note?” Richard asked, in a gentle tone. He was different from the night before. He was calmer, more relaxed; it seemed like he had gone back to being himself. The Richard she had started knowing. 

 

“Yes I did.”

 

“Where are you?” 

 

“Kurfurstendamm.”

 

“You got there on your own? Good job.” he chuckled, and Francesca smiled.

 

“Hey, I’m capable of taking the U-Bahn, I’m not a baby.”

 

“Then you’re capable of coming where I am, I believe. We’re ordering something to eat here, so that we don’t lose that much time. Would you like…to tag along?” Francesca let a couple of seconds pass, so that she would let Richard’s proposal sink in. It was another, direct invite into his world. 

 

“If I’m not bothering anyone.” 

 

“No, I’ve asked them. And then you can finally meet Doom, Oliver and Flake. So they know you’re real and not an invention of my mind.” Richard surely had expectation in his voice. Francesca could perfectly figure him in her mind, standing on a balcony, a cigarette in his free hand, as he bit his lip and waited for her to answer. 

 

“Alright. Where do I go?”

 

“Get off at Neukölln. When you’re at the metro station, text me. I’ll be there to meet you.” Richard had a hint of excitement in his voice tone. Francesca couldn’t help but smile to herself at it. 

 

“Cool.” 

 

“Francesca?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“If I said that I’m really, really happy that you’re here, would that be cheesy or ridiculous to you?” Francesca’s jaw fell a bit. It took her a moment to recollect herself, realizing what he had just said. ‘Go slow. Don’t flip out, don’t let yourself go to romance, this is not Sex and the city. It’s just…Richard’. 

 

“No…It’d be…nice to hear.” she replied. Richard sighed, on the other side of the phone. 

 

“Then, I’m very, very happy that you’re in Berlin.” He had said it. He had got it off her chest, freeing his heart of the huge stone he hadn’t managed to throw away the night before. It was a light, pleasant feeling. 

 

“I’m…glad to hear that.” Francesca replied. 

 

“Come in about a couple of hours. See you then, girl.”

 

“Later.”

 

They closed the call. Francesca brought the phone to her lips, for a long moment. She watched as her reflection stupidly smiled in the window of the clothing shop, even if she couldn’t see her mouth hiding under the thick scarf. Her Oxford shoes clicked on the concrete as she started moving again, slowly. She looked up at the sky, at the soft clouds that the wind had brought over. With every minute passing, everything felt unreal. Unreal, and wonderful. 

 

At about two o’clock, she was getting out the metro train at the Neukölln station. It wasn’t a particularly busy time, but there were still many people coming and going. She glanced at the guitar player sitting right outside the building of brown bricks, and looked for a few coins in her wallet. He was playing ‘Faith’ by George Michael, and he was pretty good at it. She let the coins fall in the guitar case, and the street musician made a grateful gesture towards her with his head. Then, she looked up in front of her, next to the bike racks. Richard was standing there in a short man’s coat, black sweatpants and All Star trainers. He looked around, with his hands in his pockets, somehow getting caught up as he watched the cars and the public means of transportation come and go. 

 

“Richard!” Francesca called, getting closer to him. He turned around, and waved at her. He widened a big, heartwarming smile at her. The girl surely felt something spark inside of her. 

 

“Hey, you.” Richard said, his hands gently touching her shoulders as he leant in, to leave a kiss on her forehead. “Hungry?” Francesca nodded, as the two of them started walking towards their destination. “Soup, salads, shrimps. Healthy stuff. Till doesn’t want to eat junk food when he’s…creating, you know.” Francesca smiled at the thought of Till wanting to keep his body ‘clean’ as he dedicated himself to their art. “How was your morning by the way?”

 

“Nothing special.” Francesca stated. “Window shopping, coffee and milk drinking. I’m going to have to get used to the fact that I’ll never have a decent cappuccino here.” Richard chuckled, as he slipped his arm under hers. The girl’s heart rejoiced as he held her close. She enjoyed seeing the reflection of the two of them as they passed by along the street lined up with various shops. And she loved how natural Richard was being around her. It seemed like walking next to him had been something she had done for her entire life. 

 

They arrived at the main door of a modern building, and Richard opened it up with a small key. They got in, and the noise of the door shutting echoed through the staircase. Richard pushed the elevator’s button, and waited. His fingers went up to Francesca’s cheek, gently brushing on it. 

 

“Everything okay?” he asked. Francesca nodded. Actually, she was wondering wether she should tell Richard about her job interview, or not. She got inside the elevator after him, still feeling his gaze upon her. 

 

“I’m just tired, I guess.” she lied. “But curious to meet the other guys.” Richard leant with his back against the mirror that was in the elevator. He looked up and smiled to himself, thinking of his bandmates. It would have been nice to introduce them to her. Still, they knew how they reacted every time somebody ‘new’ entered Richard’s life. This time though, everyone had noticed a change in Richard’s ways. So much that they were anxious to meet the one that had got Richard’s attention so much to have him leave the country for a few days. 

 

The elevator doors slid open, and the couple was in front of an apartment door. Richard pushed it open, and with a smile gently took Francesca’s small hand in his to drag her inside with him. She was very surprised by this gesture, so much that she felt her cheeks blushing. He let her go once they arrived on the edge of the rehearsal room. It was a big rectangular room, with wood along the walls. The atmosphere was cozy, with carpets on the ground and the window door bringing light inside. The first one to notice her was Paul. He stood up from his seat next to his amplifier, and opened a friendly smile to him. She mirrored it back, sincerely. He went up to her and left a kiss on each of her cheeks. 

 

“Hello there.” Paul said. “Welcome to the dragon’s den.” He chuckled, and Francesca noticed the incredible sweetness of his facial expressions. He had been one of the few friendly people to her in that huge city, and she hoped that things between them would have stayed the same. He had been reassuring and kind the night before, and he had really appreciated it. 

 

“You know Paul already.” Richard said, as he winked at his small friend. Francesca turned around as she heard steps from behind; an incredibly tall, bald guy with a beard had appeared on the door with a bottle of water in his hands. He looked shy, but nice. His eyes were kind, she could read it. “Oliver! Da bist du. Das ist Francesca.” The tall guy, Oliver, took a couple of steps towards her. He was very, very tall, and she felt like when Alice drinks from the bottle that makes her become a tiny little girl. Oliver held his hand out, and Francesca shook it. She got reassured once he had sent her a shy but sweet smile. 

 

“Hallo, Francesca.” Oliver said. His voice was deep, gentle. “Hope you’re doing fine in Berlin.” Francesca nodded.

 

“Everything is brand new, and exciting.” she replied. Oliver agreed with her, and sat down on the couch next to the keyboards. 

 

“Oliver plays the bass guitar.” Richard explained. 

 

“Oh! I used to play the bass, in high school.” Francesca said, to which Oliver listened with genuine interest. “I had a metal band. We sucked, actually.” Oliver laughed, and Francesca loved how he was making a real effort to step out of his naturally shy persona. In the meantime, Till had entered the room. From behind, he had placed his hands on Francesca’s shoulders, almost making her jump on the spot. He left a kiss on her hair, and let a low chuckle out. 

 

“It’s me, scaredy pants.” Till said, to which Richard laughed. He was thankful to him for being nice to her, supporting him in trying to make her feel less alone. Francesca jokingly pushed on Till’s chest once he had passed by to go sit next to Oliver. He was wearing a casual pair of jeans, and a t-shirt of the band Pain. In his hands he had a very small Moleskine, which he opened once he had sat down. Behind Till, was another tall and skinny guy. A pair of glasses on his nose, a very slim face whose facial bone structure was visible. He held out a hand, and shook hers with extreme kindness. 

 

“Francesca.” he said. “Call me Flake. Nice to meet you.” Francesca shook his hand, and smiled at him. He was elegant, soft, and quiet. She liked him very much at the first glance. 

 

“Oh, good. Then there’s Schneider.” Richard stated. He looked around, out of the window. There was a man outside, on the narrow balcony, enjoying a few rays of sunlight. As he turned around, Francesca could have a look at his piercing blue eyes. He opened the door and went back inside, a light scarf around his neck, and brushed his hands together to warm them up. 

 

“Ciao. I’m Christoph.” Schneider said, his German accent making him even more adorable. “Francesca, am I right?” He shook her hand, and the girl nodded. 

 

“How come everybody knows who I am?” with an eyebrow moving upwards, she looked at Richard. Richard shrugged his shoulders, and took off his coat before throwing it on the couch next to Till. Schneider chuckled. 

 

“I guess you know who to blame.” Schneider added, as he went to take his place behind the drums. Francesca watched the movements of the tall man, before focusing on Richard again. 

 

He wasn’t acting as weird as he had done the night before, back when they were at the Biergarten. By taking her there, with his bandmates, he had taken a further step to bring her into his life. Francesca didn’t actually know how to feel about it. She watched his movements, as he went back to take his guitar in his hands, throwing the strap over his shoulder. 

 

Then, she heard Till call her name. She looked at him, and saw that he was patting on the couch, almost as if he wanted to say ‘come here’. She went next to him, letting her body sink down in the fabric. 

 

“Better?” Till asked, getting close to her ear. 

 

“Better.” She replied. “Thank you.” 

 

“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, as long as you don’t stop.” Till said, almost in a solemn tone. Francesca nodded at that sentence, and blushed at the heartwarming smile that the big man sent her, the wrinkles at the sides of his mouth showing his age. That surely would have been the key to that crazy, unexpected path she had decided to walk on. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for sticking with me and this story until now, I'm very grateful to all of you. I just wanted to let you know that as of this moment I'm leaving this story on hiatus. There's really a lot going on in my mind writing-wise at the moment...maybe some of you can imagine how it works when you get the itch of writing something down. 
> 
> This is the only story - of the ones that I'm writing at the moment, - that I haven't planned out completely, and I guess it's going to take some time for me to get back to it. Some day I might continue it, as soon as I get some more ideas on how I want this to go. It's been fun, heartwarming and so sweet to get these images out of my head, and I truly hope that you loved them as much as I did. 
> 
> If you'd like some more Richard love, you can still take a look at Wir sind die Könige, my Greek Gods AU story, in which Richard really is one of the best character, and I have to say that he's the one I love the most writing. 
> 
> Thank you all once again, and I hope to see you on these pages very soon! 
> 
> Love you all,   
> -mareavera


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Richard got out the elevator and dragged the guitar with him. It had been a quite productive, yet exhausting day. He opened the door, and somehow thought that he had forgotten that somebody was home. Francesca was sitting on an armchair, scrolling very intensely on her smartphone. She lifted her head up for a moment to look at him, a timid smile on her lips._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess the flow came back! I'm so thankful for all the people that showed me their love for this story. I'm so glad you guys love it, and I really think this time I have the right energy to arrive to the end. Thanks for all your support, and enjoy! <3
> 
> \- mareavera

  
  


Francesca walked on the sideways, along the streets around the Bundestag. Her small frame was wearing all black - her favourite. She looked in the windows, without really caring about what was in front of her eyes. She had gone out for a walk around the city, trying to come to the terms that she had left the peace of her Tuscanian hometown for the big metropolis; she had been there for a week now. 

 

It had been two days since her job interview: it had been at a hotel of the same chain in which she was working in Florence. That was why she had hopefully left her job to go to Berlin, risking her safe life for what had felt in her heart. It would have been for the same position - Virginia and her manager had recommended her to the human resources of the hotel in Berlin and she had had the interview from two days yet. She could have sworn everything had gone well. Her best dress, her best smile, all with a delicate self consciousness of what she could and couldn’t do. Of course she didn’t take her success for granted, but she actually quite sure of it. 

 

Richard had left early for rehearsals, because the second part of their tour was approaching really fast. She hadn’t told him about the interview, because she felt quite sure of its outcome. And after all, it was her business only. As she drank a bit of her caramel american coffee, she felt her phone vibrate in her purse. Francesca hurried and managed to take it out in time: it was the hotel’s human resources. 

 

“Hallo? Ja. Das bin ich.” 

 

She answered in German. The conversation went on for a minute or so. She looked at herself in the shops’ windows as the call went on, and could feel her heart literally drop to the ground. Her fingers, already cold, couldn’t seem to hold onto her smartphone any longer. 

 

“Danke. Danke für alles. Auf wiedersehen.” 

 

She closed the call, and returned back to reality. She put her phone back in her purse, pushed her hands in her coat’s pockets and started walking, really fast, to the first U-Bahn stop in sight.

 

* * *

  
  


Richard got out the elevator and dragged the guitar with him. It had been a quite productive, yet exhausting day. He opened the door, and somehow thought that he had forgotten that somebody was home. Francesca was sitting on an armchair, scrolling very intensely on her smartphone. She lifted her head up for a moment to look at him, a timid smile on her lips. Then, she came back to her scrolling. 

 

“Hello.” Richard said, with a sigh. He really was happy to see her after such a long day. “How have you been?”

 

“Good.” she answered, very quickly. “Yours?” Richard let down the guitar next to the rack where the others were, and walked up to her. He took off his scarf and his beanie hat, ruffling up his hair. He let down, leaving a kiss on her hair. He lingered in that position for a moment, inhaling her scent. 

 

“Lots of playing. Lots of cigarettes.” he added. Then he went to sit on the sofa next to the armchair where she was. Her leg was slightly trembling. “Dinner? What would you like to do?” Francesca scrolled her shoulders to his question. She didn’t really care about it. 

 

“I’m not hungry.” she said, her eyes not leaving the screen. “But a beer would be nice.” Richard placed a hand on her thigh, causing her to flinch a moment. She finally looked up at his face. His blue eyes were tired, yet kind as usual. There also was a hint of worry on his mature features. 

 

“Are you alright?” he said, softly. “You don’t seem like you’re okay. We can stay home if you want. We’ll pick up something from the supermarket and-“

 

“No, seriously.” she said. “I’m fine, Richard. I guess I just need to go out for a while.” Richard looked at her for a long moment. There must had been something wrong with her, because her eyes were all red, and puffy. A little stain of black mascara had stayed on around her lashes, almost as if she hadn’t been capable of washing it away. He decided to trust her feelings, and to give her what she wanted. 

 

“Are you ready to go?” he asked her, standing up and stretching his arms. She locked her smartphone and stood up as well. The fact that she kept on doing everything still without looking at him was making him crazy. Was she still mad at him for their argument the other day? No, that could not have been. He was worried, yet insisting wouldn’t have brought him any good. 

 

“Give me two minutes.” she stopped for a second, and momentarily laid her head on his chest. “Thanks…for going out with me.” Francesca said, almost in a whisper. Without leaving him time to answer she was off to her room. Richard stood there, a puzzled and worried expression on his face. He touched the five o’ clock on his jaw, thinking that it would have been so useful to have Till there. He was capable of understanding what went on in the mind of women, in a way that he had never been able to. He shook his head to come back to reality and worn his coat again as Francesca was ready to go.

 

Thirty minutes later they were sitting at a small table of a brauerei in Richard’s neighbourhood. Francesca had taken a doppelbock beer, its amber colour was very dark in the dimmed lights of the pub. Richard had opted for a light lager, and had started telling her about his day. 

 

“The fact that this time I’m going to write the lyrics of a song with Till...I mean, it’s such a big thing for me.” He said, excited. “He usually writes because he’s..he’s got a gift. And he usually says that he’s not that much of a singer, he prefers to see himself as the writer. He’s so much more to Rammstein, because he plans the pyros, the scenes, the props. Yet, you know. We love him because he’s a humble guy.” he drank some more beer and looked at Francesca. She was listening to him, but he knew she wasn’t giving him his full attention. “It’s going to be something great for me, writing in German. Emigrate’s lyrics are in English and so personal, it will be nice to see what we come up with. We’ll write the music first though, we all have something on our minds. Paul says I should write more in German, because he has admitted to me that some of my lyrics for Emigrate would be so much powerful in my mothertongue so…” he stopped talking as soon as Francesca finished about a third of her beer in a single gulp. “But anyway, it’s going to be nice to take a dip  _ in der Dunkelheit. _ ” He added, with a playful smile. What song is that?”

 

“Huh?” she said, confused. “Are you going to quiz me about Rammstein now?” Richard snorted. Then he jokingly pushed her on her shoulder. 

 

“Come on.” Francesca decided to give in to his look. She had her mind buzzing with thoughts, and that infinite blue was like a window. A window in which she could escape from her problems - if only she would have wanted it. 

 

“Wiener Blut.” she stated. “You cannot find me unprepared on Rammstein.” Richard smiled at her, thankful for this light moment between them. Yet, he frowned as he saw her drink the rest of beer in another single gulp. He stared at her, placing a hand on hers. 

 

“What?” she replied, a finger cleaning a corner of her mouth. “I’m listening, don’t worry.” Richard raised his eyebrows at her, as she freed her hand. 

 

“Listening?” He asked. “Tell me what I just said.” Francesca rolled her eyes at him, and crossed her arms on her chest. 

 

“Songwriting for Rammstein, you like the fact that you and Till are going to write together.” She scrolled her shoulders. “I want to go to sleep. Can we go?” She stood up, and wore her coat. She waited for him to come out of his initial confusion and stand up, before going out of the brauerei in the chilly autumn air. As they got out of the bar, Richard had to keep up with her steps. At some point he decided he had had enough. When they were far enough from the local so they could have some peace, he gently stopped her by taking her forearm. 

 

“You said you wanted to go out.” He stated. “Then you drink a very alcoholic beer in such a little time that even I would have had problems in taking it all in. Then you want to go home already. What’s wrong?” 

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Don’t go all nothing on me lady, I’ve been alive enough to know that when a woman says ‘nothing’ there must be something wrong.” That sentence surely did strike a nerve on her. 

 

“It’s none of your business anyway.” She said, standing in front of him and looking down at her sneakers. 

 

“Look at me and tell me I did nothing wrong.” He said. “Please.”

 

“No Richard, you did nothing wrong.” she finally gave in. “You want to know what’s wrong? Fine. I had a job interview two days ago and-“

 

“You had a job interview? Why didn’t you tell me?” He replied, confused. She stared at him with her brown, deep eyes. 

 

“I told you, it’s none of your business.” She said again. “Anyway, I failed it. It was for the same hotel chain I worked for four years, the same position.” She widened her arms as she spoke. He could see she was fighting against her wet eyes. “I thought I had aced it. Yet I got called today saying the person that was supposed to leave for another country and leave me her position decided to stay. And since it’s low season they won’t hire anyone else. So that’s it, Richard. And you want to know something else? I’m looking for a small apartment as well.”

 

“You-what?” he said, his brows furrowing with anger. “I told you you can stay at my place as long as you want, for free!” 

 

“I know, but what did you expect? A fairytale relationship, we move in together and everyone lives happily ever after?” She said, almost literally sending an arrow to his tired heart. “It’s not easy. I had my space, my life, adjusting to you it’s like…”

 

“Like what?!” he exclaimed. He was feeling his temper going away. 

 

“Like living with my parents again.” She added. “Come on, not in the sense that you’re old. You’re not old. In the sense that it’s hard to live with other people after you have been alone for so much time.” Richard was furious. Yet, he was fighting the urge to take it all out on her in front of the city. 

 

“You chose to come.”

 

“I know. I know!” She said, starting to feel her eyes harder and harder to control. “And you’re so good to me, and you’re so kind, and lovely, and patient. And I really want to give you time like I said the other day. But I don’t know if I need space. I don’t know.” She brought her hands to her face and felt the tears coming out. “I guess I need time too. And a job. And...being independent while being...you know, with you.” She spoke through her hands. Richard felt all of his anger collapse at the sight of her not wanting him to see her cry. 

 

“I don’t have that much to say.” He said, with a long sigh, as he took out the pack of cigarettes from the pocket of his coat. “I’m so sorry for your job interview, I really am.” he took out a cigarette, and lit it up after taking it between his fingers. Then, it passed it to Francesca. She moved her hands from her face, and after hesitating for a brief moment, she took it between her small fingers and inhaled, deeply. Richard lit up another cigarette for himself, and sat on the bench of the bus stop that was a couple of steps near them. With his free hand, he signaled her to come sit next to him. Once she had accepted his invitation, he smiled at her as she looked at him, with a grateful expression in her red eyes. “Would it make you feel better if I said that all of this is new to me too? I mean, I have lived with women in the past, I was married once. But it’s been like...twenty years since I got divorced.” He said, resting his elbows on his knees, taking the cigarette to his lips from time to time. “Could you imagine how must it be, for a fifty year old man, used to being single and independent all the time, having you around? It’s exciting, damn. Exciting, and scary.” 

 

“Scary?” she said, zipping up her coat. Her voice was less trembling than before, and he was very happy about that. 

 

“Yeah, scary.” he confirmed. “I’m scared to fuck this up, I’m not gonna lie.” Francesca’s eyes momentarily looked at his black nails. “And of course I know this isn’t going to be a fairy tale, I don’t want it. I want your smile, not your tears. And I want to be up to the task of making you feel like you did the right thing for your life. That’s why I’m scared to fuck this up.” He said, sincerely and with a reassuring calm. There he was: making her feel understood. Again. That’s what she liked the most about him. That’s what had brought them closer in the first place. They seemed to understand each other’s fears, each other’s desire, each other’s will to desperately find another broken heart like theirs. 

 

“I’m scared to be a burden to you.” she admitted, with a soft voice. “I don’t want to live off of you. It wouldn’t feel right.” after finishing her cigarette, she threw it in the bin next to her. Then, she shyly took Richard’s left hand in hers, fiddling with his fingers. “I mean. It’s not like I’m your...girlfriend or anything like that.” Richard chuckled in a low voice, and let her play with his fingers. Girlfriend. That was a big word. 

 

He stood up, offering her his hand. They started walking along the sideway, towards the block where his apartment was. 

 

“You’re not a burden. You could never be a burden. It wasn’t a burden coming to see you in Italy, it’s not a burden having you here in Berlin.” he reassured her, holding her hand. He gently squeezed it, for a moment. Francesca felt calmness take over her again. “But you’re free. You’re free to do whatever you want. If you want I’ll help you find a place of your own. And as for your job, we’re going on tour soon, and we could always use some help. Our tour managers always need someone to help them organize things, the merchandise team could always use some help. Would it be so bad if I helped you with that?” he asked her, in a comforting voice. She took a moment to answer, after a long sigh. 

 

“It wouldn’t be so bad. But I don’t want to bother anyone.” 

 

“You would be an extra help, the furthest from a bother.” he scoffed. “I’ll talk to our tour manager but I’m sure there won’t be any trouble. And besides, we could spend some more time together.” Richard added, in the hope that she would have wanted to spend time with him as much as he wanted to be with her. “If it’s not your cup of tea, after this part of the tour you could always stay here in Berlin and find another job. Do we have a deal?” He asked her. She waited before answering and took a moment. 

 

“That way we could beta test our...our whatever this is.” 

 

“It seems you’re scared to say the word ‘relationship’”. Richard said to her, with a laugh. “Let’s not be scared together, shall we?” he stopped, as they were about to cross the road. He took her face between his hands, and let his forehead touch hers. Francesca placed her hands on his sides, and felt the same butterflies she had felt at the time of their first kiss. 

 

“I’ll try.” 

 

“Do or do not, there is no try.” 

 

“Alright, Yoda.” she replied, with a laugh. 

 

“See? I made you laugh. Paul taught me.” Richard said, gently brushing his cold nose against hers. “And by the way, how can I call you? How can I say ‘Hey, everyone, meet my…’my what? What should I tell to those asking me who are you?” Richard added, to which Francesca snorted. Richard had a heartfelt laugh at her cute disapproval. “Roommate? Housemate? Friend with benefit? My padawan?” 

 

“If I let you call me your girlfriend, will you stop nagging me?” Francesca said, with a single breath, as she pushed the button so they could cross the road safely. Richard bit on his lower lip as a huge, heartfelt, gorgeous smile appeared on his lips. “And enough with Star Wars references. You nerd.” she finally gave in, and tiptoed to leave a quick kiss on his lips. “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” he said, kissing her again. 

 

“For making me feel understood. And for making me laugh.”

 

“Anytime.” he said. “...girlfriend.”

 

That word made his heart flutter, somehow. It was pleasantly weird to think of her as his girlfriend. He would have made things slowly, he would have worked on himself to let go of all of his insecurities, and to make her feel at home. He was still convinced that following his heart and taking that short trip to Italy had been one of the best decisions he could have taken in his entire life. 

 

“Now you’re just doing it on purpose.” Francesca said, with a chuckle. She held on to his hand, feeling his warmth. 

  
  
  



End file.
